Biker Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 Scottish Culture was created on a dare. It seems one night there were three Scotsmen sitting around a campfire, talking and drinking while tending their sheep. As the night wore on (and they got deeper into their cups), they got to daring each other to do more and more outrageous things which would be sure to greatly annoy the English. Suddenly, the First Scotsman up and declared: 'I'm going to take the intestines of one of our sheep, stuff it full of oatmeal and sausage and lard, cook it 'til it's black -- and EAT the whole damn thing!' Not to be outdone, the Second Scotsman said: 'Well, I'm going to take the intestines of one of our sheep, stick some flutes on it and make a bleedin' musical instrument out of the bloody thing!!' The Third Scotsman then said: 'HA! I'll beat you all, then!! Not only will I EAT your bleedin' sheep intestines and PLAY your damned pipes afterwards -- but I'll wear a friggin' DRESS while I'm doing it!!! " Never knock on Heaven's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that" ' Whatever is not nailed down is MINE. Whatever I can pry loose, is not nailed down."
Capt. Morgan Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 Aye, aye... tis true, laddie! Ye know why pipers march, don'cha? They're tryin' ta get away from the sound! (sorry, old piper's joke...) Touche' Ship's Marksman & Crab Fiend Pyrates of the Coast "All the skill in the world goes out the window if an angel pisses in the flintlock of your musket." "Florida points like a guiding thumb, To the southern isles of rumba and rum, To the mystery cities and haunted seas, Of the Spanish Main and the Caribbees..."
Mad Matt Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 Hmmmmm....more jokes about the Scots 'n' sheep seem to be risin' t' the top o' me brain.... You will be flogged. And God willing, come morning, you will be flogged some more.
Deadeye Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 .. aye... i have so many.... but the Irish jokes are just as plentiful! Heres to Scotland! - 10 Fathoms Deep on the Road to Hell... Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum...
lady snow Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 and us lassies love men in kilts! ~snow with faith, trust and pixiedust, everything is possible if it be tourist season, why can't we shoot them? IWG #3057 - Local 9 emmf steel rose player - bella donna, 2005 improv cast member and dance instructor - fort tryon medieval festival lady neige - midsummer renaissance faire
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