Dealing with the Public...

[The Doctor]

We've all been through this silliness, so give it up! What absolutely assinine situation have you dealt with whan encountering the public?

I've had more than one woman ask me if I was too hot in me garb, since the dew point up here in Minnesota can be ridiculous. Here be me answers...

- "Too hot? I was hoping for 'incredibly sexy', but I'll take 'hot' on a a bad day!"

- "It gets even hotter when I'm out of this garb. Care to go back to the car park for a bit of a cuddle?"

- I look off into the sky, opposite the Sun, and declare "Aye, but it's better than the possible alternative, eh? Wait a moment... where's my banana?! Help! Guards!! Banana thief!!!"

[Black Hearted Pearl]

Twice, I've had a guy say "You people are weird." My response at the time was to sneer and turn away. Next time I shall be ready with...

1. Look who's talking, a mundane.

2. You think I'm weird dressed like this, wait until I decide your child's fate from my position on the school board.

3. Weird, my dear, is attending a historical re-enactment dressed like Jimmy Buffett. I see you've had plenty of cheeseburgers and now you've come to paradise.

okay, so maybe I could do better. Any suggestions?

[Coastie04]

When working on the Lady Washington, I had a guy ask me if the engine was still running. This was right after we sailed off the dock and the Captain made a point of telling everyone what we did, as it requires just the right conditions. I just couldn't reply, I shook my head and mumbled something about lubbers as I walked away to clean up lines.

Probably the most frequent question we had onboard was about chaffing gear on some of the lines. We were always getting creative with our answers, which ranged from poodle skins to the line being old, frayed and about to part.

Coastie

[Scupper]

My fasvorite line from lubbers be"are you a pirate?"

I laugh and say no in a cultured Harvard accent, (I am from Boston), We are deep Sea salvage and materials reallocation and specialists.

Confounds them everytime.

Scupper

[The Doctor]

I had just finished standing on line for mead, when I was approached by a young boy.

"Mister?"

"Ah! No, laddy buck. Call me 'Captain'."

"Uh, Captain?"

"Aye?"

"What are your boots made of?"

"They're made of leather."

"Um, what's 'leather' made of, Captain?"

"Leather is made from cows, mate. Did you have a hamburger lately? Perhaps you ate the rest of me boots?"

The little boy ran back to his mother yelling "EEEEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!"

[Patrick Hand]

Aaaaargh.... ya gotta' love them vegains....... sliced thin, slow cooked, and with the right sauce.... they be down right tasty.........................

[tishsparrow]

oh, that was great...

i dunno what would qualify as 'weird', so...

ah, wait a minute. the buncha lubbers in my school. because i came dresssed for talk like a pirate day, they have taken to calling me 'captain jack sparrow'. which makes no sense, as 1: i am female, and 2: one of them dressed as jack sparrow for halloween. but everytime i hear them say that, i just keep going through the spiel i came up with: "no, i am Annelise Striped-Socks, Captain of the Constipated Sailor (its a loooooooooong story, involving a vote and captain slappys ship namer). this tends to get odd looks, however...

[Dorian Lasseter]

Hmmmm....

I have had a few goode... make that stupid questions asked;

"Is that a real fire?" is my favorite...

sadly, I bit me tongue afore I said;

"Dunno... stick yer hand in an' find out..."

Instead I just took a deep breath an' replied with a nod....

Then, there's;

"Did you sleep in that tent last night?"

As they say this incredulously, pointing to the beatup wedge I once had...

"Yes, I sleep in it every night...."

They give me this look like I was insane...

As I was using flint and steel to start a fire;

"What are you doing?"

'I'm startin me fire...'

"Why are you doing it with that?"

'Cos tha's th' way it's done...'

"Why don't you just use a lighter?"

At that point I looked at the guy with a confused look on my face and asked him;

'what's tha'?'

He kinda snorted and walked away then...

Oh Well...

At one reenactent we had a big stew pot over the fire, been there for two days, so the stew was really goode by that point... I lifted off the lid and fished out a chunk of meat (we had deer...) A family had been standing near by, the Dad comes over and asks us;

"What's in the pot?"

'Stew'

"Really? are you gonna eat that?"

'Indeed I am...'

"What is it?"

'Stew.... meat, pototoes, vegetables...'

"No, what's the meat?"

(being tired of the stupid Q&A game)

'Dunno... might be deer... 'twas roadkill we found on th' way...'

(he and the rest of his family cringed... wife looked green...)

"Oh... thanks..."

then they hurriedly walked away...

those are my best.....

[Monterey Jack]

We've all been through this silliness, so give it up! What absolutely assinine situation have you dealt with whan encountering the public?

Not sure about "silly", but I definitely get the assinine challenges to swordfight with folk who can't tell point from pommel. The demos I've done, but choreographed and not, don't have the insurance to cover bouting with the public so we're always forced to refuse. This draws comments like, "That's cuz you know I can kick your ass", or that's because it's all fake,"

Right.....they never stop to think that the reason it looks real is because we learned how to do it for real.

I had a kid jump the ropes with a cheap, sharp sword and come up in my face while I was in a private pub area for the actors and challange me to draw steel. I was leaning against the "bar" with an eating knife under my hand. The kid says, "you won't even come on guard with me!''.... and my partner leans over and says to the kid, "idiot; he IS on guard. Your move."

The kid muttered something intended as an insult and left before security got there.

[Diego Santana de la Vega]

That is why we piece/ peace tie, my friends!

[Sealegs Constance]

I like when they look at your sword, and dagger and ask "Is that real?" Duh.I get that all the time. Makes me laugh everytime. Yes Diego my weapons are piece tied. Would not have it any other way.

[Rumba Rue]

The absolute best I've ever gotten was when I was wearing my belaying pin around my backside on my belt and some guy came up to me and asked what it was.

I told him it's my belaying pin. And when I get really tired I turn on the batteries.

[Fox]

I've had a million and one "Is that real" questions, from less dumb things like swords (if it's in a scabbard one could be forgiven for wondering) to fires, dogs and even once a screaming baby.

Question about lifestyle are pretty common too: "Are you really going to eat that?" "Are you really eating that?" "Did you really eat that?"... Yeah, "do you really sleep in those tents" is quite a common one. I have been known to answer "No, when the public leave we take them down and put up modern tents instead" - the trouble is that people believe it.

Stupid comments from re-enactors are not uncommon. I recall some years ago doing an event at the Whitehall Banqueting House, where Charles I was executed in 1649. So, we're walking back to our digs through the middle of London in our 17thC kit and on the other side of the road there's a group of punks with the leather and chains and bright mohawk haircuts. One of the women in our group looked across at them, tutted and said "What do they think they're wearing?!"

On another occasion I was doing some high quality living history circa 1601. Now, I'm used to members of the public talking to me about the accuracy of our kit, it's quite common to be asked how close our stuff is to the original. But if someone goes on and on about it then you can bet a fiver that it's another re-enactor who is desperate to pick holes in your kit. On this one occasion I spotted the asshole straight away and went for the balls by bringing up the Sealed Knot, who have a (probably underserved) reputation for not being all that good authenti-wise, despite a certain arrogance about being "the best re-enactment society" (by which they mean biggest). As soon as I mentioned the SK his eyes opened and his ears pricked up, and he was off...

"So, how do you get that colour?"

"Actually, my wife dyed this wool using madder"

"And what's your shirt made of?"

"It's linen. The pattern and colours are almost identical to fabric fragments found on the Mary Rose, and the pattern is taken from an existing example in the V&A"

"What are your boots made of?"

"Calf-skin, with a leather sole. As you can see they're straight lasted. In fact, the cobbler who made them is working on another pair in the next room"

By this time he's getting a little frustrated, and I'm feeling glad that I put the linen shirt on that morning instead of the cotton.

"Of course, if you were really authentic your laces would be made of leather"

I smiled and replied:

"They are"

He left.

Dumb members of the public: My favourite was about 2 years ago when I was doing some WWII RAF stuff and someone asked about the field telephone. Then they got onto mobile phones and showed me theirs. "Where are the cables?" I asked. "They don't have them", they replied. "Then how can it work?" Since they couldn't explain to me the workings of a mobile phone they left under the impression that I was the mad one...

[Hawkyns]

I recall some years ago doing an event at the Whitehall Banqueting House, where Charles I was executed in 1649. So, we're walking back to our digs through the middle of London in our 17thC kit and on the other side of the road there's a group of punks with the leather and chains and bright mohawk haircuts. One of the women in our group looked across at them, tutted and said "What do they think they're wearing?!"

Slightly OT but sort of similar circumstances.

About 6 years ago, half a dozen of 3 Co., Blackwell's, here in the US, crossed the pond to join the rest of the regiment for Whitehall. We all stayed at the Sidney, down behind Vic Station. The Saturday night booze-up was at the Golden Lion in Pall Mall. To get from one to the other, you cross the Mall, right in front of Buckingham Palace, and down Buckingham Palace Road.

Right, so one of our number, Mike, decides he's going to try and match the Brits, beer for beer. Bad plan. The Brits are experts at drinking large quantities of beer with no apparent ill effects. Mike was not. About 10 o'clock, we notice Mike is missing. After wandering about a bit, we find him in the pub yard, sitting on a wall and making offerings to the ground between his boots. (We're all in full kit for this, BTW). 11 o'clock comes round and the bell rings. We gather up our songbooks, take Mike in tow, and make our slightly unsteady way back to the hotel. We're nattering away and, as we turned into Buck Palace Rd, we noticed Mike was no longer with us. So we turned back. We found him, behind one of the stone buttresses that hold up the huge iron fence, holding onto the bars, and puking his guts through the fence, into the Palace forecourt.

I would truly love to have seen the face of the security officer in charge, as he looked at the CCTV screen, watching someone in 17th C kit, defiling the Monarch's front yard.

Hawkyns

[Monterey Jack]

That is why we piece/ peace tie, my friends!

I don't know of too many faires that don't insist on tying weapons in place; problem is, it becomes optional far too easily. Just because its tied doesn't mean it stays tied. Unfortunately the ones ewho play by the rules are the ones most in danger of getting injured by the nuts who don't tie down. Outside the gates of my camp, its tied; inside when I may need it for a demo three times an hour, its loose.

[Fox]

About 6 years ago, half a dozen of 3 Co., Blackwell's, here in the US, crossed the pond to join the rest of the regiment for Whitehall.

That was probably the last year I did the Whitehall March (1999?), does this mean that we've actually done an event together?

Actually the event I was recalling was not the ECWS march but a different week long living history actually inside the Banqueting House.

I would truly love to have seen the face of the security officer in charge, as he looked at the  CCTV screen, watching someone in 17th C kit, defiling the Monarch's front yard.   

I would imagine they're probably well used to it! Maybe not the 17thC kit bit...

Erm, sorry for going OT.

[Hawkyns]

That was probably the last year I did the Whitehall March (1999?), does this mean that we've actually done an event together?

Likely so. I did Whitehall every year from 1988 to 2001.

Hawkyns

[Fox]

Wow! That's dedication to a lost cause!

I gave up going when they stopped giving me promotions and medals...

[Hawkyns]

Got my silver Greyhound from the regiment. Morris submitted my name a couple of times to the KA, but JT refused to accept our existance, being over the pond and all. Used to frost him to no end when we carried the 3rd company colour in the parade. He didn't like Blackwell's anyway. Too independant for his taste.

Hawkyns

[Dorian Lasseter]

By th' by, Rod,

Blackwell's 3rd do much these days?

Been way too long since I muster'd out...

Came over ta Blackwell's way back, with Mr. Sykes from Levin's Reg. of foote

I still have my Blackwell's coat... a tad small, but....

[Fox]

JT didn't like anyone very much who wasn't all dressed in blue with fibreglass helmets... hang on... didn't I leave ECWS to get away from politics like this?

I got me a silver griffin and a couple of commissions. I believe I was actually the youngest commissioned officer the KA ever had, since I got my first one at the tender age of 18. What really bugged me was the sheer number of people who believed, sincerely believed that medals and commissions were important. I liked getting the griffin because I put a hell of a lot of effort in to my regiment (Bevill Grenvile's) and it was nice to have that recognised, but I certainly never imagined that having a rank meant anything except I got to wear a nicer hat. There were people though who really imagined that they were officers. One of the reasons I got out I suppose.

I always liked Blackwells, fine fighters and drinkers, and they could always guarantee a laugh. Speaking of daft things at events: when I was first made ensign I once wore a seriously nice green silk slashed doublet with silver piping, embroidered breeches and a jet black silk sash. One of Blackwells' officers came over (short fat fella, forget his name - big blond moustache) looked me up and down then got on one knee and proceeded to sing "How do you do? How do you do? I get an erection just looking at you..." I'm not sure I ever lived that down.

[Pirate Petee]

I have a question. Please don’t take offence. I was just wondering if any of you guys that do these Re-enactment’s were actually in the service. Like I said no offense or anything , but I was just curious.

[Fox]

I certainly wasn't in any service relevant to pike and musket combat...

You ever been a real pirate?

[Ransom]

While in the SCA I was always getting the "Are you in a play" question. The weirdest question I ever got, was when I wore my black Spanish surcoat to work for Halloween. A co-worker came up to me and asked if I was dressed as a nurse! Never did figure that one out.

Another good one, was when I was working for B Dalton, right after the movie Excalliber came out. A lady came in the store and wanted to know what book it was based on. I told her La Mort D'Arthur by Mallory. She then asked me what he had written lately. Choking back a snort, with a straight face I informed her that he hadn't written anything lately, as he was too busy being dead—for over 500 years. She gave me a sort of confused look, and walked away. I've laughed about that one for years.

[Kendra The Sea Maid]

OH I have a few. Doctors can even ask you some dumb ones, even when the answers ar there in front of them.

"So you have Cerebral Palsy?"

"Yes" *Thinking to my self* "No my legs just decided to go on strike!"

"You have been in this chair all your life?"

"Yes" Thinking "No I decided this moring that I would roll in here like this just to mess with your head!"

Questions asked in public (in a mall) by adults

"How do you use the bath room?"

" How do you get dressed ?"

And my personal favorite "Do you. . . .I mean can you. . .How do you. . ..*long dramatic pause, while the person searches for the right words until finally he leans down and whispers* "Dou you have. . .you know, *winks* FEELING in your LEGS!"

"Yes, and obviously you don't!" *Winks back*

Heres a little tidbit, just because a person sits in chair with wheels dosen't make them alien. there for think before you speak, and if it is a question that you would not ask your family or closest of friends Then that by all means do not ask me, because it is none of your business how I live my life.