Freak Day, Kings Dominion, VA

[morgan_thelimey_grimmway]

This be the... ahem.. censored version of the notice posted up on a friend's livejournal:

This be next saturday, btw which is.... uhhh... the 25th of June!

At Noon in front of the Main Entrance, the usual pack of nightcrawling oddities and sinister-looking cartoon characters will expose themselves to the rays of the Hated Orb™ long enough for brief photographic evidence, discount passes and a quick encounter with Park Security. You may also want to slap on some SPF-1000 to maintain your unwholesome barroom pallor.

At 5PM, survivors are invited to congregate in the region of the bumper cars for grisly group photos followed by mass domination of the Blood-Soaked Abattoir o' Doom (The Bumper Cars). Yes, we know this is backwards, but we're going to try it this way this year.

A word in the ear of any of you nicotine addicts or those of you whose film noir status would be compromised by failure to chain smoke - SMOKING IS STILL ALLOWED IN PARAMOUNT'S KINGS DOMINION. The extent of their policy is (and I quote) "Be aware, smoking is not permitted while riding rides, standing in lines, anywhere in WaterWorks or in any gift shop." So knock yourselves out. Besides, you probably don't want to smoke on the Flight of Fear anyway - the filter'd most likely go flying into your mouth and blow out your spine through the back of your neck. And yes, they still sell booze.

Hey, listen up! The folks who run this establishment have some rules that they'd like you to follow. No cannibalism. No pets. No assaulting members of the clergy. No castrating, neutering, or emasculating other park-goers. No loading yourself up on methamphetamines, crack cocaine or hallucinogenic toads. No inappropriate use of home improvement materials. No displaying the words "F*** You" on any article of your clothing. No killing total strangers even if you really like their coats. O.K., that's pretty much it. You've been warned, but if you've still gotta go ahead and violate these rules, then expect to get the living crap beaten out of you by King's Dominion's savage army of animatronic prostitutes. Actually, we were just kidding about the prostitutes, but some of the security officers may be wearing thongs.

DISCOUNT TICKETS: Putz has tickets available now or for $26 tickets on-line: Go to website http://www.kingsdominion.com click on tickets, click on Corporate Partners and enter our code which is DCFRK03

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I told you it was... ahem... censored.

Anyway, so that's that. It should be an awesome time!