Pirate jokes

[Red Maria]

Zorg sent this link to me:

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2000/06/14pirates.html

Have fun!

[Sealegs Constance]

Aaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggg!!!!!!!!! Thank ye lass I be needin a good laugh.

[William Brand]

Laughter be the best medicine...no. Wait.

Rum is.

Laughter be a close second. Aye.

[Diego Santana de la Vega]

So this pirate walks into the pub he does

he sits down and begins ta readin the signage pon walls in surround

taking special note to the one readin:

"Make me horse laugh and I'll give you ten gold coins"

So he looks up to the keep and asks where this horse be?

the keep dryin 'is hands comes out from behind his serving table and says follow me

so the pirate gets up and follows 'im out the back door to the stable

the keep opens the gate an says 'ere 'e is

the pirate looks in on the most somber lookin creature ever shoed and walks over to the horse and whispers in 'is ear 'e does

and the horse begins laughing out loud. no, more than that hideously almost screaming in laughter

the keep can't believe it and says well i never

turns walks back in the pub retrievin the ten gold coins and 'ands em to the pirate who buys a round fer the pub goers present and gets up and walks out.

about two years later when back in this port the pirate remembers this same tavern and goes in

'es readin the new postings round the place and see's the horse signs been

changed to read:

"Make me horse cry and I'll give you twenty gold coins"

the pirate asks the keep where the horse is and 'e again walks 'im out back to the stable and opens the gate sayin 'ere 'e is

the pirate walks over right up to the horse whispers in 'is ear and the horse nods like e was nodding yes ere somethin ya know.

then the pirate steps back and drops 'is breeches as the horse looks and immediatly begins a wailin cryin tears and the whole yard arm 'e was

the keep shakes 'is head and turns and walks back in the door followed by the pirate and regretfully pulls out twenty gold and pays the pirate and while handin him the coins he says say

aren't you the same scalliwag that made me horse laugh some years back?

the pirate nods yep sayin that be me

so the keep asks 'im I gotta know what was it you said to me horse to makes 'im laugh.

the pirate said I told 'im me pecker was bigger than 'is

the keep said well what was it you said to 'im just now?

I asked 'im if 'e remebered me? and he nodded

adding so I backed up so 'e could get a good look and I proved it!

wet no shirt contest huh! where's the sign in sheet?

[Wayfarer]

there be a quality laugh!

[Red Maria]

So this pirate walks into the pub he does...

OMG! It's the Dread Pirate Shecky!

[Sealegs Constance]

LOL OMG I love it. Needed a laugh thank ye much.

[Diego Santana de la Vega]

Grammercy to all with enjoyment. On Saint Paddy's Day I gots a nice leprachan joke too!

Red Maria, grammercy "Dread Pirate Shecky" now THAT is a compliment.