Another pirate walks into a bar...

[BLACK SKOT]

A pirate walked into a bar and ordered up a grog. A lubber comes in and sits next to the pirate. The lubber noticed that, like any self-respecting pirate, this guy had a peg leg, a hook in place of one of his hands and a patch over one eye. The lubber just had to find out how the pirate got in such bad shape.

He asked the pirate, "How did you lose your leg?"

The pirate responded, "I lost me leg in a battle off the coast of Jamaica!"

His new acquaintance was still curious so he asked, "What about your hand. Did you loose it at the same time?"

"No," answered the pirate. "I lost it to the sharks off the Florida Keys."

Finally, the lubber asked, "I notice you also have an eye patch. How did you loose your eye?

The pirate answered, "I was sleeping on a beach when a seagull flew over and crapped right in me eye."

The land-lubber asked, "How could a little seagull crap make you loose your eye?"

The pirate snapped, "It was the day after I got me hook!"

[Nomadicalpirate]

aye, that'll happen to the best of them.

"Captain Scar was, as always, a fearsome sight. A great hulking brute of a man with not only a genuine big bushy black beard but also a genuine rusty iron hook for a hand. His eyepatch and pegleg were both false, but there's a fine line between being fearsome and being seriously mutilated"

From some book or another.

Who woulda thought, I can read!