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2 Bad Pirate Jokes I've Never Heard Before...


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Posted

A Pirate and a bartender were a-talking in a bar. Bartender asks the pirate "Where did ya get that peg leg from?"

The Pirate answers " We were a-sailing the seas when a huge ol' shark came up to me while I was a-swimmin' and bit off me leg."

The Bartender asks "Now, where did you get that hook from, then?"

The pirate responds "Arr, me crew and I were in a battle and it got shot off by cannister."

The bartender then asks "And where did ya get the eye patch from?"

The pirate says " In a harbor I looked at the seagulls flying overhead and one took a dump right into me eye."

The bartender is confused and asks the pirate, "How would that make you get an eye patch?"

The pirate says "First day with the hook."

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"The floggings will continue until morale improves!"

Posted

So a pirate walks into a bar, an' sits down. The first thing the bartender notices is that this pirate has a ship's wheel attached to the crotch of his pants. The pirate orders a drink, and when the bartender brings it to him, he says, "I couldn't help but notice your, em, steering wheel." The pirate downs his drink in one sip an' says in an anguished voice. "Aaarrrrrrrgghh mate. Tis drivin me nuts!"

Sorry about that un. Twas hilariously funny at three o'clock in the morning on watch off the coast o' the carolinas. But then, so was this un:

There was this bakery, and it was just about to close. THere were two muffins left sitting in the glass case. One muffin says to the other, "Hello, how are you?" The other muffin says. "Oh my God it's a talking muffin!" :ph34r:

Posted

This Pyrate movie is rated....... ARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

:ph34r::ph34r::ph34r::ph34r::ph34r:

Deadly Drucilla

:ph34r:

Pause My Friend, As You Pass By. -As You Are, So Once Was I. -As I Am, So Shall You Be. -Prepare You Then, To Follow Me.

(written on a gravestone)

Posted
There was this bakery, and it was just about to close. THere were two muffins left sitting in the glass case. One muffin says to the other, "Hello, how are you?" The other muffin says. "Oh my God it's a talking muffin!" :ph34r:

HAR, HAR, HAR! I love that joke!

"I like nachos. Mermaid nachos."

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Posted
: What has 8 arms and 8 legs?

A: 8 pirates.

Uhm...i think i may be stupid, but isn't it supposed to be four pirates then? :lol:

Good ones though :)

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Posted
: What has 8 arms and 8 legs?

A: 8 pirates.

Uhm...i think i may be stupid, but isn't it supposed to be four pirates then? :huh:

Good ones though :)

No, because the joke is supposed to be that each pirate only has one arm and one leg. (Implying the stereotype that all pirates have a hook and a peg-leg.) Arr...those jokes are cruel. But funny...

"I like nachos. Mermaid nachos."

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Posted
No, because the joke is supposed to be that each pirate only has one arm and one leg. (Implying the stereotype that all pirates have a hook and a peg-leg.) Arr...those jokes are cruel. But funny...

ARRGHHH me brain mu'st've been alseep, either that or i'really getting slow of (middle) age! :huh:

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