Captain Ahab At Wal Marts

[Dream Wench]

Qwee Qweggs to the Captain: "Polyester skivvies are no good....they get

fuzzballs, or whatever" Captain back to Qwee Qweggs: "Aye....Let's look for cotton...or

better still...Hemp" Qwee Qweggs to the Captain: "Hemp available at Wal Mart?

Will miracles never cease?"

The Captain entered the front doors,

and quickly embraced the old man (greeter) wearing a

blue smock with the name "Virgil" emblazoned across the back.

Virgil was hoisted, spun with glee, and placed back onto the floor, where he immediately took a heart pill. (Virgil was 82 and a sweet man)

Ahab was in a fairly good mood. He wanted to buy something

for his companion. "Yo! Qizzkeg or Qwetzleqwattle, or what ever yer

called...help me find some skivvies"

The two men sauntered up and down the

aisles, and stopped in front of a woman

holding white sheets in the air, while

examining them for flaws.

Captain Ahab had a sudden flashback, saw Moby Dick inside his

head, and begain to flail his hairy Captain arms about.

Losing his footing

(when his pegleg became lodged in the open mouth of a Batman Slipper,)

he accidentally Speared

the sheet lady in the rump.

She wasn't hurt, and told reporters she thought it

was one of those "falling prices" Wal mart is famous for.

The Captain found apair of skivvies but decided to buy a "multi- pak" featuring The Littlest

Mermaid, Davey Jones, a Huge Octopus, and Amelia Earheart flashing a big smile, and a peace sign.

Qwee Qwegs bought a styrofoam ice chest in case they ever had

another ship wreck because of that "Dang Blasted Whale!"

At least he could survive another day to shop at Wal Marts.

No Longer must they fret about the Jetsam and Flotsam of a contaminated,

monster-laden, besotted community full of people who don't know much about

anything except beer, greasy food, polyester knits in neon green, bright lemon

yellow, and hot pink. No more honking horns, emaciated dogs, gunshots, mindless

sit-coms, info-mercials, Maury Povich, cigarette butts, Tang, falling prices, or

ignorant men and women who continue to victimise, and blame one other for their

woes. The Ocean waves gently lap the side of the ship,

with the promise a new tomorrow. Life and Mother sea cured all ills.

The scurvy dog had 400 limes at his disposal, and the Captain had a

new Cabin Boy, a Cabin Girl, and plenty of Dubloons, and pantaloons,

and tunes, and many moons

to see him along on his journey. Qwee Kwegs had a nifty styrofoam coffin....with a picture of Virgil on it....for "emergencies".

C June 6 2004 Dream Wench ( revised )

[PyratePhil]

Ahh, that be a jewel, Lady DW...

Will ye next be regalin' us wi' th' Adventures O' The 3 K-Marteers?

Or, The Scary Mystery of the Sam's Club Boys...

[Dream Wench]

Ha Ha..funny Phil ! I love to fracture things... En Garde Tar-get ! Or Burger Sling Blade ! Or Tastee Freeze..or I'll shoot !" I could go on..but, I'll spare you...words are fun..and the creative energies are like a river...we never know what's around the bend...