Here's a thought from an old warrior.

[BLACK JACK SHALAQ]

If I could, I'd enlist today and help my country track down those

responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City

and Washington, DC

But, I'm 46 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track

down terrorists.

You can't be older than 35 to join the military.

They've got the whole thing backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us

old guys. You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every

10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day,

leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate

on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky

soldier is a dangerous soldier.

If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into submission. "My

back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?"

An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to

war until you're at least old enough to legally drink.

An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons

of beer by the time he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat

with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly.

An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m.

Old guys get up early (to pee).

If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd

probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number

would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're used to

getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food.

We've also developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We

like them almost better than naps. They could lighten up on the

obstacle course however.

I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope

hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after training.

I can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er...one."

And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen

anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning

to shave, to actually carry on a conversation, to wear pants without

the top of the butt crack showing and the boxer shorts sticking out, to

learn that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a

200-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum.

All great reasons to keep our sons at home and to learn a little more

about life before sending them off to a possible death, let us old guys

track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked our hearts on September 11.

The last thing the enemy would want to see right now is a couple of

million old farts with attitudes and rifles and the ability to use them!

BLACK JACK

[Merrydeath]

dang double posts

[Merrydeath]

I hafta agree with you, Black Jaque, but ya do know why its NOT 18 year olds sitting around here?

For the same reason it was virgins who were sacrificed to dragons and gods.

Its the 35 year olds with soft bellies making the rules.

[Zorg]

I hafta agree with you, Black Jaque, but ya do know why its NOT 18 year olds sitting around here?

For the same reason it was virgins who were sacrificed to dragons and gods.

Its the 35 year olds with soft bellies making the rules.

Amen to that. Mayhaps if we sent a few more executives and rich men's sons in harms way, there might be a bit less harms way around in which to send them.

Please do not request a diagram of the above sentence.

*sigh* Vietnam only 35 years ago and we we've learned NOTHING.