The 7 most terrifying pirates from history

[D B Couper]

The 7 most terrifying pirates from history

http://www.cracked.c...om-history.html

Edited July 7, 2012 by D B Couper

[Swashbuckler 1700]

Nice list but I don't agree with it were are chinese pirates and Edward Low? What makes Dampier Terryfying?

[Mission]

I probably would have put l'Olonnais on top and Blackbeard second or third. (He randomly shot one of his men on whim. That's not more terrifying than taking everyone's hat? Although taking everyone's hat is kind of cool.)

I agree with you about Dampier. The author lost my respect for his list when he put Dampier in there at all. I don't think you can fairly call him a pirate and he certainly wasn't terrifying based on anything I've read about him. (Look at his portrait, for God's sakes. He appears to be ready to faint at any moment. Not. Terrifying.)

I think what he's really put together is a list that should be called "Interesting and Successful Pirates Who Were Not Blackbeard." I do wonder why Roberts doesn't get more attention in the popular media, though. I suspect it's because BB was also really colorful and he terrorized the American coast. The recent (last 100 years of so) fascination with the subject seems to have had its roots in America. Plus we're kind of fascinated with our history in that way.

Although I defy you to tell us about a terrifying Chinese pirate without looking one up. I'll bet you couldn't do it. (Remember - terrifying, not 'interesting' or 'successful.') The only Chinese pirate I can even think of off the top of my head is Madam Ching and she is 19th century.

[Swashbuckler 1700]

The author lost my respect when he used unnessarily curses that does not sound cool in this contecst but foolish....

I think the whole issue with BB is that he sailed in modern USA coast. Robert's operated in Africa, Brazil, Caribbean,and -canada but not so much in Modern USA area. And BB was killed there... So Yankees in east coast are happy to think that "they had" "the most interesting pirate" who I think was not so interesting at all..... Propably not having even half of the stuff Johnson writes nor devil flag .

[Mission]

Yeah, when the authors at Cracked.com want to appear to be cool, the love to resort to the word 'fuck.' I agree with you that it actually makes the author appear to lack creativity if that's the best they can do to make their material sound relevant. (Then again, no one is sharing the link to this post on Facebook, are they? Guess I'd rather sound intelligent than relevant.)

[Fox]

I must admit I didn't even bother reading page 2. The author lost my respect by including Stephen Decatur.

[Swashbuckler 1700]

http://www.cracked.com/article_19482_6-absurd-pirate-myths-everyone-believes-thanks-to-movies.html

Well what I can say here... :rolleyes: :rolleyes: those rolling eyeas are for the writer..... Stuff like " Actually, it looks like the only reason pirates wore eye patches was To Keep one eye adjusted Thurs darkness while boarding another ship" :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Fox]

http://www.cracked.c...-to-movies.html

Now my brain hurts.

I wonder if that could possibly be any worse. (Yes, it could, but only if #6 was about why pirates really wore earrings...)

[Matty Bottles]

The writers on Cracked often don't name the articles. The editor Jack O'Brien does. It's sort of become a running joke that the titles are overblown and inaccurate.

If these truly were the most terrifying, I would expect a few more entries from Esquemelings rogue's gallery.

Edited July 9, 2012 by Matty Bottles

[Mission]

I must admit I didn't even bother reading page 2. The author lost my respect by including Stephen Decatur.

That's a good point. Although I completely skipped him after reading the first paragraph because I suspected that was just a ruse to put someone people don't usually identify as being a pirate into his list. When I read that, I suspected our author of attempting to wish he were avant-garde.

Now my brain hurts.

I wonder if that could possibly be any worse. (Yes, it could, but only if #6 was about why pirates really wore earrings...)

Ed, they wore earrings as a way to pay for their funeral! Don't you know anything about pirates?!

Or maybe it was to pay Charon for the crossing.

Or maybe it was because they wanted to have a hedge against the future - in case they ran out of funds.

Or maybe it was so that their fellow pirates could send it home to their families so that they wouldn't be destitute after their death.

Or maybe it was because they thought they were avant-garde and hoped one day to use it to be able to pay for a correspondance course so they could learn to write articles on the most terrifying pirates who were NOT Blackbeard.

Or maybe it was because they got Tia Dalma to look into the future and see that Howard Pyle would add earrings to their kit (despite having no real evidence of this) and thought that looked kinda' sorta' cool so they would copy him. (Paradox!) [sorry, I just spent all weekend painting earrings out of various Pyle images so that I would be a bit more comfortable about using them on my web page. Yes, yes, I know. Pyle's images are rife with other historical inaccuracies, but that is the most glaring one to me.]

Come to think of it, It's hard to say for sure...

[Swashbuckler 1700]

(joke)BTW Foxe you have used the fact that earring do not appear in sailor's wils as argument against earrings but if they used them as a way to pay for their funeral then they would not be in wills ....(stupid joke ends here)

Anyway I do wonder was there any things true in that article about jolly Rogers?