A quick tale for parrot loving folks

[Jas. Hook]

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

[Zingara Carmella]

Bravo!!!!

[Dread Pyrate Greyhound]

I love that one! that's one of my three horrible parrot jokes i used to tell. try this on for size...

There is a magician pirate who performs magic tricks to entertain his crew, since a pirate crew needs entertainment on a long ocean voyage. And since the crew members gets killed and new members sign on, he had a new audience every week. The only problem was, the captain parrot watched everey week and eventually caught on as to how the tricks were performed, and shouted out the secrets

"Rawk! the doubloon is in his other hand! The ace is up his Sleeve! All the cards are the king of hearts!'

And the poor magician pirate coulddo nothing because it was after all the captain's parrot spoiling his fun. Well one night, the helmsman was drunk on duty, run the ship aground and it sank, by some strange coincedence, the only survivers were the magician pirate and the captain's parrot clinging to the same peice of wood. After three days and three nights of glaring at each other without speaking, the pirrot finally says,

"I give up, what have you done with the ship?"