Wrath of the Past

[Bart LeBaron]

Hey everyone, I haven't been online in a while, mostly because of finals and a brain tumor, but now i'm back. I've been working on a story that i hope to publish someday, Wrath of the Past. It's a story about pirates, but not the usual seafaring robbers we've come to love. It's a story about air pirates. I'm only on page 70-something right now, but I'm working on it as I type.

For a quick synopsis: The world has been destroyed by nuclear warfare, and a dismal layer of cloud has settled on the war-ravaged lands, known as the Cloud Ocean. With the mountaintops as islands, people continue to live, trade, and sail on airships, some more lawful than others. When a pirate ship captures a military vessel with a mysterious passenger, it leads into a quest to stop a dangerous terrorist from obtaining a deadly weapon.

If you have the spare time and the will, I would greatly appreciate it if you would read what I have so far and give me some constructive criticism. I'm a sophomore in high school so my writing is far from perfect, and I'd like some advice on how to make the story more interesting. I've included pages 1-77 in this post on a Word document. If you read it, please respond with criticism...be brutal, please, i need the help. The main characters are pirates, so thought the story would be appreciated in a pirate-fan crowd.

Thanks in advance, I look forward to your comments!!!

--Bartholomew LeBaron

[Bart LeBaron]

I take that back, the story won't be coming out for a bit. I need some more work done to it. In the meantime, let me know what you think of the synopsis.