JohnnyTarr Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 One, two, five. Three my Lord Three. Git up of your asses, set up those glasses I'm drinking this place dry.
Hawk the QM Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 A tiger...In Africa ? Nasty wound you've got there, Potter. Thank you very much, Sir.
Black Anne Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I told him we already got one! Black Anne Roberts From the great white north..looking for warmer climes
Hawk the QM Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 I told him we already got one! Well if we were to construct a wooden badger... Oh, shut up.
Ransom Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 "There are bones in this chocolate!" "Well, if there weren't bones in it, we couldn't call it Crunchy Frog, could we?" (Not sure if that's an exact quote, but I think it's close) ...schooners, islands, and maroons and buccaneers and buried gold... You can do everything right, strictly according to procedure, on the ocean, and it'll still kill you. But if you're a good navigator, a least you'll know where you were when you died.......From The Ship Killer by Justin Scott. "Well, that's just maddeningly unhelpful."....Captain Jack Sparrow Found in the Ruins — Unique Jewelry Found in the Ruins — Personal Blog
Hawk the QM Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 "There are bones in this chocolate!""Well, if there weren't bones in it, we couldn't call it Crunchy Frog, could we?" (Not sure if that's an exact quote, but I think it's close) Constable Parrot ATE one of those! And what's this one. Spring surprise.
silas thatcher Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 [quote i do believe my dear you are referring to the holy handgrenade...... bless this O Lord, thy holy handgrenade , and let it blow thine enemies into tiny bits......... the holy handgrenade of antioch, iirc
JohnnyTarr Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 it is a ferocious beast with long sharp, pointed teeth. Git up of your asses, set up those glasses I'm drinking this place dry.
JohnnyTarr Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 "It is the rabbit." Git up of your asses, set up those glasses I'm drinking this place dry.
Patrick Hand Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 "What is the unladened airspeed velocity of a swallow ? " "What; African or European ? "
Graydog Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Look, he's not giving you any money, so piss off! Why am I sharing my opinion? Because I am a special snowflake who has an opinion of such import that it must be shared and because people really care what I think!
Capn Bob Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Um...pardon me, but are Goon Show quotes also allowed? If they are, then I submit: "I *do* know a man with a hairy bald head!" (H. Crun) If not, then I did not write the above, and you can't prove nothin', yer honour... Damn, thats sharp!
Patrick Hand Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 "It's not my fault, society is to blame...." "Right... then we'll arrest them."
MadL Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 And now for the funniest joke in th' world; parents, ye may wish t' send yer kinder t' bed at this moment: ready? here it goes: "There were zwei peanuts walking down der Strasse. Und one was assaulted peanut!" Ok, ok, not a Python quote but a German rebuttal t' one ~All skill be in vain if an angel pisses down th' barrel o' yer flintlock! So keep yer cutlass sharp, 'n keep her close!
Lady Alyx Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 (edited) ........................and now.......The Larch...... (Announcer) .....why is there a penguin on top of the tele...I don't know it came from next door,.... don't be silly penguins don't come from next door, they come from Antartica............ (old ladies - MP) ........he's pining for the Fiords....... (parrot skit) and.......if you hadn't nailed him the to perch he'd be pushing up the daisy's.... Edited January 28, 2009 by Lady Alyx ~~~~Sailing Westward Bound~~~~ Lady Alyx
Patrick Hand Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 Sex.... sex......sex... Now where were we ?
Silkie McDonough Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 Always Look on the Bright Side of Life Some things in life are bad, They can really make you mad, Other things just make you swear and curse, When you're chewing life's gristle, Don't grumble, Give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best. And... Always look on the bright side of life. [whistle] Always look on the light side of life. [whistle] If life seems jolly rotten, There's something you've forgotten, And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing. When you're feeling in the dumps, Don't be silly chumps. Just purse your lips and whistle. That's the thing. And... Always look on the bright side of life. [whistle] Always look on the right side of life, [whistle] For life is quite absurd And death's the final word. You must always face the curtain with a bow. Forget about your sin. Give the audience a grin. Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow. So,... Always look on the bright side of death, [whistle] Just before you draw your terminal breath. [whistle] Life's a piece of shit, When you look at it. Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true. You'll see it's all a show. Keep 'em laughing as you go. Just remember that the last laugh is on you. And... Always look on the bright side of life. Always look on the right side of life. [whistle] Always look on the bright side of life! [whistle] Repeat to fade...
Hawk the QM Posted January 28, 2009 Author Posted January 28, 2009 There's no doubt about it, this expedition does have some rather unusual aspects, Jim lad. For a first, why does the senior personnel all bear the names of Hollywood film stars of the forties ... and female ones at that, shiver me timbers 'tis the black spot, and secondly, I be not afraid of thee Blind Pew ... why do they talk this rather strange stilted, underground jargon, belay the mainbrace Squire Trelawney this be my ship now. Argh! A tranquillizing dart fired by the cowardly BBC health department dogs ... they've done filled me full of chlorpromazine damn! (Can't believe I was the first to use this one YAAAR)
Patrick Hand Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 "Oh No! it's the Crimson Permanent Assurance....."
Hawk the QM Posted January 29, 2009 Author Posted January 29, 2009 "Oh No! it's the Crimson Permanent Assurance....." What was that about hats again?
Quartermaster James Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 (edited) Voice Over: In this film we hope to show how not to be seen. This is Mr. E.R. Bradshaw of Napier Court, Black Lion Road London SE5. He can not be seen. Now I am going to ask him to stand up. Mr. Bradshaw will you stand up please In the distance Mr Bradshaw stands up. There is a loud gunshot as Mr Bradshaw is shot in the stomach. He crumples to the ground Voice Over: This demonstrates the value of not being seen. Edited January 29, 2009 by Quartermaster James
Blackbead Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 (edited) Bloody peasant! ________________________________________________________________________________ You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down t' mill, fourteen hours a day, week-in week-out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home our Dad would thrash us to sleep wi' his belt. Edited January 29, 2009 by Blackbead "In the end, it's not the gold that sets our sails, 'Tis freedom and the promise of a better life That raises our black flags."
Graydog Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 It's all very well to laugh at the military, but when one considers the meaning of life, it is a struggle between alternative viewpoints of life itself. And without the ability to defend one's own viewpoint against other perhaps more aggressive ideologies, then reasonableness and moderation could, quite simply, disappear! Why am I sharing my opinion? Because I am a special snowflake who has an opinion of such import that it must be shared and because people really care what I think!
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