gunner Gordon Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 There once was a pirate from St. Blas whose bollocks were made out of brass in foul or fair weather he clanked them together and sparks flew out of his ass ! the further away from Scotland ye roam, the more Scottish ye become Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capn Bob Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 Rum's a wondrous drink, d'ye see... And can be had for a minimal fee. Ye guzzle it down, Wi' never a frown, And all the day ye say, Tee-hee! Sorry, mates, it be the best I kin do at the moment... hic! Damn, thats sharp! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackbead Posted May 28, 2010 Author Share Posted May 28, 2010 This be an excellent thread! If we ever get enough, we'll have to take this on the road . . . The Andrew survives on their grog, I hear they keep it in the "head of a hog"! But bumbo's the drink for me! It keeps me happy while I be at sea, And it don't taste like the piss of a dog! Keep 'em coming! "In the end, it's not the gold that sets our sails, 'Tis freedom and the promise of a better life That raises our black flags." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bright Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 The pirate had captured a wench, quite youthful and pretty, and French, he showed her his bed, she shook her sweet head, so he polished her off on the bench! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daniel Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 The pirate had captured a wench, quite youthful and pretty, and French, he showed her his bed, she shook her sweet head, so he polished her off on the bench! Polished her off? I've usually heard that phrase used in a less, um, friendly way. Good limerick, though! Anyway, here's mine. To the foretop climbed old Captain Nash To search for a prize full of cash, But the waves rocked the ship Till he quite lost his grip And alas, Captain Nash made a splash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daniel Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 Here's another: When the crocodile called on James Hook, The pirate those waters forsook. With the croc down a peg A white whale ate his leg. And he said, “Why, I’m in the wrong book!” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bright Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 A right twisted wench from Caprees-ed Orgasmed each time that she sneez-ed To the druggist she went And laid down her last cent Said, "A barrel of snuff, if you pleas-ed." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madPete Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 (edited) There once was a surgeon called Mission Against all advice he went fish'n He went on to the keys away from the freeze and was pressed just like he was wish'n Beware of the bloke who may sink ye in the pub he is quick with a winky he'll take yer hat and then chew the fat by now you should know this is Stynky Edited May 31, 2010 by madPete Aye... Plunder Awaits! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Kilo Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 I can't seem to come up with anything right now, but as soon as I come up with something I'll post it. Admiral Kilo hath spoken. [Jolly Roger pending- if ye're willing to draw mine check the thread I made for it {this is a link}) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackbead Posted October 5, 2010 Author Share Posted October 5, 2010 There was a young lady named Banker, Who slept while the ship lay at anchor, She woke in dismay, When she heard the mate say, "Now hoist up the topsheet and spanker!" Okay, it's an oldie but a goodie, written by someone else and it's not really piratey. But it is DARN good if you ask me! "In the end, it's not the gold that sets our sails, 'Tis freedom and the promise of a better life That raises our black flags." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendy Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 There once was a pirate called Blackbeard Whom everyone thought was quite wierd Because his fourteen wives Weren't terrified by knives - It was his ticklish whiskers they feared! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William Brand Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 If you knew MadPete like we do... There once was a sailor named Pete Who would grin both in ease and defeat It was somewhat beguiling That he never stopped smiling Even when his last rites were complete Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madPete Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 If you knew MadPete like we do... There once was a sailor named Pete Who would grin both in ease and defeat It was somewhat beguiling That he never stopped smiling Even when his last rites were complete reports of my death are greatly exaggerated. mP ;) ;) :D :D Aye... Plunder Awaits! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William Brand Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 I was sorting through some old files and found some limericks I wrote on a pirate site I used to frequent before I found the Pub. Period terms can be most suggestive in or out of context. He found a wench willing and able to be tied up and had on the table, but while tying the knot he was put on the spot by an uncertain groin in the cable. (When the cable does not coil as it should it is said to have a 'groin'.) When the coxswain went over the side Catalina would not let it slide It's a terrible pox to lose a good cox so she came hard about on the tide Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William Brand Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Their surgeon was no Joseph Lister and could barely give aid to a blister He was pressed into service proved reluctant and nervous except with a mercury clyster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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