Merrydeath Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 this might have been uploaded already but someone sent it to me and made lots of sense.. sorta. ------------------------------------------------------------- Bush Administration issues Letters of Marque to Airlines President Bush announced today that the administration had decided on a cost-effective way to assist the nation's flagging airlines, most of whom have suffered from declining ticket sales in the past two years. "We believe that issuing Letters of Marque to our airlines will enable them to recoup a substantial percentage of their losses at virtually no expense to the American taxpayer," Bush said in a Rose Garden ceremony yesterday afternoon. "This is, to my mind, a win-win situation." Letters of marque are documents providing authority to fit out an armed ship and use it to attack, capture, and plunder enemy merchant ships in time of war. They were used extensively by Queen Elizabeth I in the 16th and early 17th centuries, producing some notable privateers such as Sir Francis Drake. To date, they have only been used for sailing vessels, but government analysts see "no reason" why a Boeing jumbo jet wouldn't qualify as a suitable vessel. "We are very excited about this proposal," said Gerard Arpey, the newly appointed CEO of the embattled American airlines. "The windows in a 747 already look like portholes; all we have to do is stick some cannons out of them, and we're ready to go." Logistics are still being worked out, but it is likely that passengers sitting in a cannon row will have similar obligations and restrictions as those sitting in an exit row. Traditionally, letters of marque provide authority to plunder ships from a specific nation. President Bush was somewhat vague about the target countries, saying only that "well, if you need a translator to talk to them, odds are they could be fair game." The United Nations Security Council expressed deep concern over the President's plan, noting that letters of marque have not been valid under international law for several centuries. "Frankly, the last thing we need is for jumbo jets full of American tourists to be hoisting the Jolly Roger and firing broadsides at any Airbus that comes across their path," said an anonymous diplomat from the United Kingdom. "I mean, we had our fun and all with Drake; but let's not get carried away." Administration officials stressed that the letters only provided for "opportunistic plundering" and that flight plans would not be changed to increase the odds of better prey. "However, if someone goes a little out of their way to get their hands on an Iberia flight packed with gold bullion, well, that's their affair." Human rights groups were outraged, but not surprised, at the developments. "It's really just a hop, skip and a jump away from allowing handguns in the cockpit," said Amnesty International spokesperson Brianna Ghent. "Hopefully passengers will get tired of sharing cabin space with giant smoking cannons and the delays caused by all this privateering." To complete the signing ceremony, Air Force One flew overhead and fired off a broadside at a passing Air France jet. "Yo ho ho," said Bush. Current Issue: May 15, 2007 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Copyright © 2003-2005 The Watley Review, all rights reserved. Pirate Lass with sass, brass, a cutlass, an a nice *ss. Capt of the FOOLS GOLD PIRATES BLAST BREAST CANCER! GET A MAMMOGRAM AND SAVE YOUR TREASURED CHEST: http://www.myspace.c...iratesthinkpink http://www.myspace.c...oolsgoldpirates CAPT OF THE ONLY PYRITE SHIP AFLOAT: THE FOOL'S GOLD- look for us and Captain Merrydeath on facebook! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tartan Jack Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 NOW, that is JUST WRONG!!!! Funny, though. I wonder how many will take that seriously? -John "Tartan Jack" Wages, of South Carolina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilgemunky Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 Take it seriously? You mean it's not real?!? Crap - I guess my ebay purchase of a Cessna was bit premature I AM BILGEMUNKY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matty Bottles Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 Bilgemunky, maybe you could get a letter of marque from Quebec or Texas - i'm pretty sure they both regard themselves as independent, sovereign governments, and they're both probably crazy enough to issue one... "The time was when ships passing one another at sea backed their topsails and had a 'gam,' and on parting fired guns; but those good old days have gone. People have hardly time nowadays to speak even on the broad ocean, where news is news, and as for a salute of guns, they cannot afford the powder. There are no poetry-enshrined freighters on the sea now; it is a prosy life when we have no time to bid one another good morning." - Capt. Joshua Slocum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Hand Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 Dosen't Texas already have it's own Air Force ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matty Bottles Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 God, I hope not. "The time was when ships passing one another at sea backed their topsails and had a 'gam,' and on parting fired guns; but those good old days have gone. People have hardly time nowadays to speak even on the broad ocean, where news is news, and as for a salute of guns, they cannot afford the powder. There are no poetry-enshrined freighters on the sea now; it is a prosy life when we have no time to bid one another good morning." - Capt. Joshua Slocum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumba Rue Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rats Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 Watch that 1st step for the boarding party!!! No rest for the wicked! Wait a minute... that's me?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tartan Jack Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 Dosen't Texas already have it's own Air Force ? Isn't it the Confederate Air Force? -A bunch of old warbrds, mostly World War 2 era. -John "Tartan Jack" Wages, of South Carolina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Maria Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Well guys only congress, according to the Constitution can issues letters of marque. But this wouldn't be the first time Bush has igorned the Constituion! It can only be a joke! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cascabel Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Who is this guy, "Mark" ? ..... and why is he writing me letters ???? >>>>> Cascabel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tartan Jack Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Who is this guy, "Mark" ? ..... and why is he writing me letters ???? >>>>> Cascabel Me thought his name be "Marque" (He must be Frenchy). And, WHY he would write you? NO IDEA!!!!! -John "Tartan Jack" Wages, of South Carolina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Alyx Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 taken from Wiki The issue of Marque and Reprisal was raised before Congress by Rep. Ron Paul of Texas after the September 11, 2001 attacks[2], and again on July 21, 2007. Paul, defining the attacks as an act of "air piracy," introduced the Marque and Reprisal Act of 2001, which would have granted the president the authority to use Letters of Marque and Reprisal against the specific terrorists, instead of warring against a foreign state. Paul compared the terrorists to pirates in that they are difficult to fight by traditional military means.[3] ~~~~Sailing Westward Bound~~~~ Lady Alyx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Maria Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 taken from WikiThe issue of Marque and Reprisal was raised before Congress by Rep. Ron Paul of Texas after the September 11, 2001 attacks[2], and again on July 21, 2007. Paul, defining the attacks as an act of "air piracy," introduced the Marque and Reprisal Act of 2001, which would have granted the president the authority to use Letters of Marque and Reprisal against the specific terrorists, instead of warring against a foreign state. Paul compared the terrorists to pirates in that they are difficult to fight by traditional military means.[3] If such an act passed it would have to be delared unconstutional Article 1 Section 8 states: Congress shall have the power to... To declare war, grant letters of marque and reprisal, and make rules concerning captures on land and water Congress also has the power to To define and punish piracies and felonies committed on the high seas, and offenses against the law of nations; Rep Paul seems ready to capitulate hia own power! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Hand Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Do the Al Quida even have ships?...... <insert all th' camel jokes right here> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
 {if(f.fbq)return;n=f.fbq=function(){n.callMethod? n.callMethod.apply(n,arguments):n.queue.push(arguments)}; if(!f._fbq)f._fbq=n;n.push=n;n.loaded=!0;n.version='2.0'; n.queue=[];t=b.createElement(e);t.async=!0; t.src=v;s=b.getElementsByTagName(e)[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(t,s)}(window, document,'script', 'https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/fbevents.js'); fbq('init', '1074427760321280'); fbq('track', 'PageView'); </script> <noscript><img height=)
&ev=PageView&cd%5Bitem_id%5D=11335&cd%5Bitem_name%5D=Bush+and+letters+of+marque&cd%5Bitem_type%5D=topic&cd%5Bcategory_name%5D=Pyrate Pop"/>
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now