TalesOfTheSevenSeas Posted December 13, 2003 Author Posted December 13, 2003 'Quill looks around at all the writing on the privy wall and decides that the bawdy ladies of the pub would get a kick out o' a pirate pin-up on the privy wall and figures the privy humor be 18 n' over and after all, the lad is clothed... well, sorta. Well if it be too extreme I be a-rippin' him down at the first request! *un-rolls the poster* *gawks* Lad, I don't know who ye are or where ye be, or even if yer endowments be real or Photoshopped, but... but... damn, whatta pirate!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! *tacks poster on wall* -Claire "Poison Quill" Warren Pyrate Mum of Tales of the Seven Seas www.talesofthesevenseas.com
Mad Maudlin McCrumb Posted December 13, 2003 Posted December 13, 2003 HOLY SH*T, Claire! Where on earth, or on the seas, did you find THAT guy??? His trousers are so tight you can tell what religion he is!!! PRAISE DIONYSUS!!!!!!!! "You have a woman's skin, m'lord! I'll wager that hides never been rubbed with salt and flayed off to make stockin's for a pirates best cabin boy!"
the Royaliste Posted December 13, 2003 Posted December 13, 2003 'Aw, 'eck!..That be from me yearbook!!
Mad Maudlin McCrumb Posted December 13, 2003 Posted December 13, 2003 Jeez, I just knew it was you, ye olde salt!! "You have a woman's skin, m'lord! I'll wager that hides never been rubbed with salt and flayed off to make stockin's for a pirates best cabin boy!"
the Royaliste Posted December 13, 2003 Posted December 13, 2003 *Grins, lickin' rum offa me own nose*..Yep, wuz a different time, back there in the 1760's!!
Mad Maudlin McCrumb Posted December 13, 2003 Posted December 13, 2003 *Grins, lickin' rum offa me own nose Oh....my...god.... you aint' kiddin' either, are ye? GIT OVER HERE YOU BAD BOY YOU!!!! "You have a woman's skin, m'lord! I'll wager that hides never been rubbed with salt and flayed off to make stockin's for a pirates best cabin boy!"
the Royaliste Posted December 13, 2003 Posted December 13, 2003 Puts razor away, pours rum in the mug, and throw's it back..."Okee, Dokee, wot' we be a doin', siren????.. *looks around for fish scaler*
Mad Maudlin McCrumb Posted December 13, 2003 Posted December 13, 2003 Dun be needin that fish scaler big guy!!!! carves into wall: "If the house is a rockin' don't bother knockin!" "You have a woman's skin, m'lord! I'll wager that hides never been rubbed with salt and flayed off to make stockin's for a pirates best cabin boy!"
Merrydeath Posted December 13, 2003 Posted December 13, 2003 Well pardon me French.. but Sh*t, I love them tight tights... I think I am in lust.. who ever he may be... Thank you Thank you thank you. Pirate Lass with sass, brass, a cutlass, an a nice *ss. Capt of the FOOLS GOLD PIRATES BLAST BREAST CANCER! GET A MAMMOGRAM AND SAVE YOUR TREASURED CHEST: http://www.myspace.c...iratesthinkpink http://www.myspace.c...oolsgoldpirates CAPT OF THE ONLY PYRITE SHIP AFLOAT: THE FOOL'S GOLD- look for us and Captain Merrydeath on facebook!
RyannMacGregor Posted December 13, 2003 Posted December 13, 2003 *blushes ever so slightly, the color risin' in her cheeks.....appears a little speachless at first, studying the speciman* I'm somewhere between "this is cruel and unusual punishment"...and "THANK YOU SWEET JESUS and of course CLAIRE!!!" Captain of The Morrighan.
TalesOfTheSevenSeas Posted December 13, 2003 Author Posted December 13, 2003 Now that's odd.... Saber told me that was HIS old photo from way back when! That be a photo wot been handed from pirate wench to pirate wench, marvled at from east coast to west. But who he really be remains a mystery! Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... me thinks we should seek him out and find the equivalet of a glass slipper to try on him! If the cutlass fits the scabbard, we'll know we've found our Pirate Charming! -Claire "Poison Quill" Warren Pyrate Mum of Tales of the Seven Seas www.talesofthesevenseas.com
the Royaliste Posted December 13, 2003 Posted December 13, 2003 ..."GLASS?"...Folds once, tucks, and zips up rather quickly..... "Talk about shrinkage!..Just mention 'glass' in the same sentence!!"
StichWitchJane Posted December 21, 2003 Posted December 21, 2003 ::looks around furtively and sneaks over to wall:: Jane Is Wacko I like spreading true rumors about meself, 'tis fun! Hey, ho, to the bottle I go, To heal my heart and drown my woe, Rain may fall, and wind may blow, But there still be... Many miles to go! Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain, And the stream that flows from hill to plain. Better than rain or rippling brook, Is a mug of beer inside this Took! HEY! This wench never says no to a free grog... StichWitchJane, the pyrate with an education ph34r the l33t pyr4t3!
the Royaliste Posted December 21, 2003 Posted December 21, 2003 :) Aye'd rather look at it as 'increasing the information resource'....Now, where's the rum???..........
Nigel Posted December 21, 2003 Posted December 21, 2003 "To infamy....and beyond!!!!" Sir Nigel - aka "Sir Freelancealot"; aka "Ace of Cads"; aka "JACKPOT!!" (cha-CHING!) "Mojitos BAD!...Lesbians with free rum GOOD!!!"
captweaver65 Posted December 23, 2003 Posted December 23, 2003 "To infamy....and beyond!!!!" HARR HARR HARR!!! Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
BLACK JACK SHALAQ Posted December 23, 2003 Posted December 23, 2003 Twas' the nite before Chistmas n' all below deck. Not a swabbie could move cuz thar liver's were wrecked. Thar hammocks were hung from da main beams in lines, so they don't puke on each other when they felt like they be dyin'. With me first mate "Sooz" naked n' Black Jack hard as a rock. Settled to me state room to bury my c***! When out over the bow thar sounded such a roar. I thought it twas' a salvo of cannon shot crashin' thru da floor. I jumped to me feet n' left "Sooz" smiling all wet n' warm. Put on me boots n' buckled me sword. Away to da helm I stumbled n' tripped. To find "Shallow Tom" me helmsman with the ships wheel in good grip. I hollard "What da hell Tom"? As he turned against the wind. He said " Look out Captn', another rounds comin' in"! We heard the whine n' the crash as the ball hit the deck, that knocked out my hot tub that I won in a bet. I sprung to my feet n' yelled " enough of this bit! Helmsman , bring 'er about n' we'll give them some of thar own sh**"! I yelled " General Quarters! n' bring our cannons to bear"! "300 yards dead to starboard, I see the bastards, THERE"! Our cannon walls flung open n' the gunner's daughters came out. Roped n' knotted, 20 starboard "long nines", doubled charged n' stout. I yelled below to " Gunner's mate Nubbs" to make his fire true. He bellowed back "Stop yer whinnin' mate, we know what ta do"! ................I'm hungry...I'll finish this after supper................. BJS YER ANKLES WILL LOOK LOVELY BEHIND YER EARS LASSIE! HAR! HAR! HAR!
StichWitchJane Posted December 23, 2003 Posted December 23, 2003 [insert something witty here] Arr, me carvin' be quite creative, eh? Here y' are, Royaliste and anyone else who has a fancy for rum. Jane brought the rum! Hey, ho, to the bottle I go, To heal my heart and drown my woe, Rain may fall, and wind may blow, But there still be... Many miles to go! Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain, And the stream that flows from hill to plain. Better than rain or rippling brook, Is a mug of beer inside this Took! HEY! This wench never says no to a free grog... StichWitchJane, the pyrate with an education ph34r the l33t pyr4t3!
BLACK JACK SHALAQ Posted December 24, 2003 Posted December 24, 2003 Twas' the nite before Chistmas n' all below deck. Not a swabbie could move cuz thar liver's were wrecked. Thar hammocks were hung from da main beams in lines, so they don't puke on each other when they felt like they be dyin'.  With me first mate "Sooz" naked n' Black Jack hard as a rock. Settled to me state room to bury my c***!  When out over the bow thar sounded such a roar. I thought it twas' a salvo of cannon shot crashin' thru da floor.  I jumped to me feet n' left "Sooz" smiling all wet n' warm. Put on me boots n' buckled me sword. Away to da helm I stumbled n' tripped. To find "Shallow Tom" me helmsman with the ships wheel in good grip. I hollard "What da hell Tom"? As he turned against the wind. He said " Look out Captn', another rounds comin' in"! We heard the whine n' the crash as the ball hit the deck, that knocked out my hot tub that I won in a bet.  I sprung to my feet n' yelled " enough of this bit! Helmsman , bring 'er about n' we'll give them some of thar own sh**"! I yelled " General Quarters! n' bring our cannons to bear"! "300 yards dead to starboard, I see the bastards, THERE"! Our cannon walls flung open n' the gunner's daughters came out. Roped n' knotted, 20 starboard "long nines", doubled charged n' stout. I yelled below to " Gunner's mate Nubbs" to make his fire true. He bellowed back "Stop yer whinnin' mate, we know what ta do"! ................I'm hungry...I'll finish this after supper.................   BJS Part 2 "Shallow Tom" brought us even wit da heathins' who fired the first shots, I yelled," Just a few yards more lads, then we'll give 'em the hell that we brought"! And through the fog n' da spray I got a good look, of the vessel who caught us wit our breeches on the hook. Thru me spyglass I could see it's Captn' whar he'd stand. He twas' barkin' out orders wit cutlass in hand. He wore a heavy red coat all trimmed in white n' sported a burley white beard n' he looked ready ta fight! We came into range n' I gave "Mr. Nubb's" the order, ta fire our cannon's n' stand ready ta board 'er! Our first volley fired all at once. Our ship swayed n' she shuttered. Our shots went thru thar hull n' masts as if they were butter. Our second volley drew blood as the fires broke out. My lads swung from the riggin' while givin' a shout. My lads heeded my order to board er' n' take all that she's got. And bring me thar Captn' then to get the hell out! They said not another word but went right for loot. They left nutthin', not even a dead officers boots! >>>>>>>>>More to follow as soon as I get a cold brew<<<<<<<<< BLS YER ANKLES WILL LOOK LOVELY BEHIND YER EARS LASSIE! HAR! HAR! HAR!
Sassy Posted December 24, 2003 Posted December 24, 2003 This is hilarious!! :angry: How long does it take ya to bite the cap offa a bottle?? It's been 11 hours!! The suspense is killin' me.....so when are ya gonna finish this here bit o' artful pyrate poetry??
BLACK JACK SHALAQ Posted December 24, 2003 Posted December 24, 2003 Twas' the nite before Chistmas n' all below deck. Not a swabbie could move cuz thar liver's were wrecked. Thar hammocks were hung from da main beams in lines, so they don't puke on each other when they felt like they be dyin'.  With me first mate "Sooz" naked n' Black Jack hard as a rock. Settled to me state room to bury my c***!  When out over the bow thar sounded such a roar. I thought it twas' a salvo of cannon shot crashin' thru da floor.  I jumped to me feet n' left "Sooz" smiling all wet n' warm. Put on me boots n' buckled me sword. Away to da helm I stumbled n' tripped. To find "Shallow Tom" me helmsman with the ships wheel in good grip. I hollard "What da hell Tom"? As he turned against the wind. He said " Look out Captn', another rounds comin' in"! We heard the whine n' the crash as the ball hit the deck, that knocked out my hot tub that I won in a bet.  I sprung to my feet n' yelled " enough of this bit! Helmsman , bring 'er about n' we'll give them some of thar own sh**"! I yelled " General Quarters! n' bring our cannons to bear"! "300 yards dead to starboard, I see the bastards, THERE"! Our cannon walls flung open n' the gunner's daughters came out. Roped n' knotted, 20 starboard "long nines", doubled charged n' stout. I yelled below to " Gunner's mate Nubbs" to make his fire true. He bellowed back "Stop yer whinnin' mate, we know what ta do"! ................I'm hungry...I'll finish this after supper.................   BJS Part 2 "Shallow Tom" brought us even wit da heathins' who fired the first shots, I yelled," Just a few yards more lads, then we'll give 'em the hell that we brought"! And through the fog n' da spray I got a good look, of the vessel who caught us wit our breeches on the hook. Thru me spyglass I could see it's Captn' whar he'd stand. He twas' barkin' out orders wit cutlass in hand. He wore a heavy red coat all trimmed in white n' sported a burley white beard n' he looked ready ta fight! We came into range n' I gave "Mr. Nubb's" the order, ta fire our cannon's n' stand ready ta board 'er! Our first volley fired all at once. Our ship swayed n' she shuttered. Our shots went thru thar hull n' masts as if they were butter. Our second volley drew blood as the fires broke out. My lads swung from the riggin' while givin' a shout. My lads heeded my order to board er' n' take all that she's got. And bring me thar Captn' then to get the hell out! They said not another word but went right for loot. They left nutthin', not even a dead officers boots! >>>>>>>>>More to follow as soon as I get a cold brew<<<<<<<<< BLS >>>>>>>Sorry folks..Ol'Black Jack kinda past out last nite<<<<<<<< Let's see...whar was I ?? Oh yeah,I remember..... Me crew picked the ship clean only the bilge rats were left. When it comes ta theivin' my lads were da best! They brought the ships captn' n' threw him at me feet. I yelled "You may have fired first, but the day belongs to me"! I laughed n' said "Captn' yer coat of bright red makes a good target, n' yer snowy white beard tis' a bit singed from the powder burns on it"! The ol' duff looked up at me n' scowled wit hate on his tounge and said " Black Jack tis' Christmas show mercy n' quarter for some". I said " Captn' yer nuts! YOU fired first! I'll show quarter to yer loot n' YOU I'll kill first! Later Christmas evening we stowed away our plunder n' secured all the cannons n' shot down under. I remembered the look on the face of that old crank as swabbie Miguel had him walk da plank. My crew heard me exclaim as he went outta sight, " Merry Christmas to us n' to white beard GOOD NITE"! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY CYBER BUDS OUT THAR!!! :) BJS YER ANKLES WILL LOOK LOVELY BEHIND YER EARS LASSIE! HAR! HAR! HAR!
Capt Grey Posted December 24, 2003 Posted December 24, 2003 **Capn Grey walks into privy, spots poster and about jumps out of her boots** Holy Cr*p! I need t'visit the privy more often! Thank'ee Quill, that be a right smart Christmas present. Captain, we always knew you were a whoopsie. Rumors of my death are entirely premature.
BLACK JACK SHALAQ Posted December 24, 2003 Posted December 24, 2003 BUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITEBUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITE BUD LITE!!!!!! I DID ALL THAT WIT ME BAD EYE CLOSED! YER ANKLES WILL LOOK LOVELY BEHIND YER EARS LASSIE! HAR! HAR! HAR!
Sassy Posted December 24, 2003 Posted December 24, 2003 OH NO!!! Ya scurvy dog....ya kilted Santa!!! Ya coulda waited 'til the 26th! Now who's gonna brung me me black leather corset with the sparklies onna it an' me red spikey boots I asked fer????? *turns tha bottle o' tha Capt'n's Private Stock up and guzzles*
BLACK JACK SHALAQ Posted December 25, 2003 Posted December 25, 2003 OH NO!!! Ya scurvy dog....ya kilted Santa!!! Ya coulda waited 'til the 26th! Now who's gonna brung me me black leather corset with the sparklies onna it an' me red spikey boots I asked fer????? *turns tha bottle o' tha Capt'n's Private Stock up and guzzles* Aw, Ya don't need that crabby ol' gruff! Yer a pirate! Take what ya can, n' give nuthin' back! YER ANKLES WILL LOOK LOVELY BEHIND YER EARS LASSIE! HAR! HAR! HAR!
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