3 hours and 5 missed calls later... I guess I have my answer about meanings and locations.
Someday I hope you find what you want, but now I know its not me. I'll still be your friend, but I'm not sure what that means to you. Ever Sunday for years...... sigh.
the water wasn't as deep as I thought, but the undercurrents were murderous. I was in it up to my neck, in the dark, without someone to show me the shore. I called for you, over and over, but you didnt' care to hear me, or come to my aid... I'll have to save myself, as usual. With every step I took, I was sure I would feel a hand in mine, but it never happened. Another breath, another step, another pothole to sink into.. and a feeling that there was something under the water waiting for me.
I can see a light in the distance, and I will make my way there, slowly, and hopefullly without too much damage.