Leatherneck

I will be sailing that way this weekend fire or no fire yargh!!!!!!

I will be there with leather on! Me lass will be joinin' the fun as well!

I can't find the group, can i get the link.

ok one more . . .

No Sex Since 1955

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at

a gala event hosted by

a local liberal arts college.

There was no shortage of extremely young,

idealistic ladies in

attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major

for

conversation.

"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a

very serious man. Is

something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."

"The young lady looked at his awards and

decorations and said, "It

looks like you have seen a lot of action."

"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a

conversation, said,

"You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and

enjoy yourself."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his

serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope

you don't take this the

wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"

"1955, ma'am."

"Well, there you are. You really need to chill

out and quit taking

everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955!

She took his hand and led him to a private

room where she proceeded

to "relax" him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned

against his bare chest and

said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said

in his matter-of-fact

voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."

Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their

bomb making class, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his

butt.

"If you do not mind me saying," said the second, "that cork looks very

uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?"

"I regret I cannot", lamented the first Arab. "It is permanently stuck

in my butt."

"I do not understand," said the other.

The first Arab says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over

an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an

American Flag attire with a white beard and top hat came boiling out. He said, "I

am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish."

I said, "No shit?"

God Bless the USA

I have a group on myspace and get alot of people that want to join that have nothing to do with the group. I would keep it invite only. That means that someone has to volunter, namely the person that starts the group, to be the moderator. What say you cyenful? I would not mind doing it as well if need be. Let me know. Also lets post the URL so that everyone has a quick link to the group. That would help too. hazzah to taking those positive steps!!!!

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family

ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from re-possessing the ranch, they need to

purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed

their own stock. They only have $600 left.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if

I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and

haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and

decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for

$599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send

her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a

telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.

I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here

so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be

glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She

realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send

her the word "comfortable."

The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that

you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out

here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word

"comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read

it very slowly........... com-for-da-bull

Another fine picture.

Great pic!!! HAZZAH to the Photographer!!!!

great photoshere is one also

I will see you guys the second weekend there, will not be able to make it the first weekend, I have some family affairs to take care of. So drink one for me mates till my ship sails in yargh!!!!

But this one is my favorite mario Twins

heres another one

The End of the World

Oh wait there's the whistle . . . lets see a replay

I like to dress up like I pirate

I love that one but check this one out, I know you'd like it

Star Wars Rap

How many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

.........................................wanna ride bikes?

Basket

life is only here for so long, so lets enjoy tomorrow

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."

"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?"

"Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they're hatched."

"That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a pilot in Vietnam and his plane got hit. He had to bail out over enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, " What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Don't fuck with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."

WEll I threw me cannon overboard and looking for one made of gold, and can't think of a better group to pillage and plunder with till then, I am in arrgghhh!!!!

I know its not it but I would say hunt for red october. No back to my day job . . .

Here is another a friend sent to me via e-mail its not to shabby!

A lady walks into a drug store and tells the

> pharmacist she needs some

> cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do

> you need cyanide?" The

> lady then explained she needed it to poison her

> husband.

>

> The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord

> have mercy", I can't give

> you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the

> law! I'll lose my

> license, and they'll throw both of us in jail and

> all kinds of bad things

> will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any

> cyanide!"

>

> Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out

> a picture of her

> husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The

> pharmacist looked at the

> picture and replied,

>

> "Well, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?

So men can understand them.[/b][/color][/font]

Good one, but proving you wrong!!!YARGH!!!!!

A blonde is driving down the highway in Nebraska listening to the radio as the radio DJ is telling blonde jokes (all one liners). She starts getting frustrated so she turns the radio off. Just as she does she sees a girl,who happens to be a blonde, out in the middle of a field rowing a boat. So she says thats it, I can't take it anymore and pulls over and gets out of the car. She walks up to the fence on the side of the highway and yells "You know, its blondes like you that give us a bad name. And if I could swim I would come out there and kick your ars!!!!"

THank you, thank you!!!!

Hmm that could be 40 different movies. Ill try "the Boondock Saints" even tho I know thats not it. Just because I want to recommend the film

great film too! "Ummmmm. . . . . . I'll take a coke." funny man is the best.

Piece of cake "Jurassic Park: LOSt World" Thats a great one. lets see what can I think of

"Yeah, well this one right here, this was my dream, my wish, but it never came true. So I'm takin; it back, I'm taking them all back."

You pyrate lovers should know this on!!!