Benbow

Baboon?! Chimp?! Sirs, those are flogging offenses on my ship! You can tell a baboon by his bottom and a chimp by his face, which looks like a bottom. I, gentlemen, am a monkey - you can tell by my tail.

I'm afraid I'm not old enough to be served at the bar, but I'll gladly buy you all a round of lemonade and ginger-beer. Bar-keep! I'd like a banana smoothie please. And a packet of peanuts.

Dear Sirs and Modams,

Some people said that monkeys couldn't be admirals - well, I proved 'em wrong!