jim hawkins

10 signs you're watching a bad pirate movie

83 posts in this topic

the serving wench is a former las vegas showgirl.

A realy Old former Las Vegas showgirl.............

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In a word....pleather

<_<:o:o:o **Ransom falls down in a dead faint — being highly allergic to pleather**

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:huh: Agh! Quick ..Ransom! ...smell this cow!!!!

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The ship is covered with NASCAR stickers

Everyone gets proofed for Rhum

The anchor is a cheap foam prop and floats uselessly when tossed overboard

The sea is sudsy...bathtub sudsy

The pirates names all rhyme

The sails are all billowed one way and the ship moves the other

They make a fuel stop

Velcro :rolleyes:

Gopher from the loveboat is aboard wearing an eyepatch

Everyone is wearing an eyepatch

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..."I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance, I want to be a pirate from the pirates of Penzance"...

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Captain

"Alright then.... we'll ALL sing and dance..."

Grumbling from the Crew....

Captain

"I SAID WE'LL ALL SING AND DANCE, or you'll walk th' plank...."

All (slightly off key)

" I want to sing and dance

I want to sing and dance

I want to be a Pirate from the Pirates of Penzance

Wear me silver buckled slippers and my tight shinny pants.....

I want to sing and dance................."

Awh... the singing is great.... but think of the chorography..... :o

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:o Why does the "I've Got Cabin Fever" song from Muppet Treasure Island come to mind just now?

You know it's a bad Pirate movie when the boat doesn't move, instead the cameraman bobs and rolls the camera up and down. :o

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The cannons don't recoil.

When the ship lurches, half the people are thrown one way, the other half are thrown mysteriously in the other direction.

Bob Hope keeps saying his lines directly into the camera.

Instead of wearing earrings, the pirates are wearing nipple rings.

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