Jump to content

10 signs you're watching a bad pirate movie


jim hawkins

Recommended Posts

All the m a l e cast members look like they were dressed by "Frederick's of Hollywood." B)

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help....

Her reputation was her livelihood.

I'm a pirate, love. By nature and by choice!

My inner voice sometimes has an accent!

My wont? A delicious rip in time...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 82
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Every sentence the pirates say ends with, "Arrrr, me hearties!" as they wave a rubber cutlass.

...schooners, islands, and maroons

and buccaneers and buried gold...

RAKEHELL-1.jpg

You can do everything right, strictly according to procedure, on the ocean, and it'll still kill you. But if you're a good navigator, a least you'll know where you were when you died.......From The Ship Killer by Justin Scott.

"Well, that's just maddeningly unhelpful."....Captain Jack Sparrow

Found in the Ruins — Unique Jewelry

Found in the Ruins — Personal Blog

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's this movie...

Dancing Pirate (1936)

The story of a Boston dance teacher who gets shanghaied by buccaneers who might make his next steps be off the plank!

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help....

Her reputation was her livelihood.

I'm a pirate, love. By nature and by choice!

My inner voice sometimes has an accent!

My wont? A delicious rip in time...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

30) The parrot's the only one who knows not to look at the camera...

31) Continuity has failed to use the same peg leg...

32) The nemesis is found in Tortuga and joins up...(Ooops, sorry POTCees...)

33) You can actually hear the trolling motor...

34) The lead pyrate character staggers and keeps losing his terrible attempt at an english accent..(sorry again...)

35) You can see her bra, or panty line....

36) Not only does the flinter repeat, there are ricochet sound effects....

Here's ta' swimmin' wit' loose limbed women....

Iffen ah'm drunk ta' tha' brink, do prop me up, me darlin'...

But iffen ah'm anywhere near bein' sober ta' me gills, do buy me a drink!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The wind blows from the West...the sails fill from the East....

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help....

Her reputation was her livelihood.

I'm a pirate, love. By nature and by choice!

My inner voice sometimes has an accent!

My wont? A delicious rip in time...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All the m a l e  cast members look like they were dressed by "Frederick's of Hollywood."  :ph34r:

:(:lol::lol::lol:

Good for the wifey, very BAD for me! :lol:

Bad for you as in ye don't look good in lacy things? LOL?

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help....

Her reputation was her livelihood.

I'm a pirate, love. By nature and by choice!

My inner voice sometimes has an accent!

My wont? A delicious rip in time...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Damn, theres a few thoughts I'm gonna have to drink away :(:rolleyes:

......wonder how I'd look in thong? :o

pictures may follow.......... don't count on it though...........

(runs tae th' gunwale a'hollerin fer RAAAALLPHHHHH).

'ow 'bout the pyrate hero who arrives at the rescue by slidin' one handed down a furlong 'o rope w' nary a hint 'o ropeburn?

PIRATES!  Because ye can't do epic shyte wi' normal people.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Damn, theres a few thoughts I'm gonna have to drink away :o   :(

......wonder how I'd look in thong? :o

pictures may follow.......... don't count on it though...........

Would your thong have a little...er...big...skull and crossbones on it? :o Did I just type that! :rolleyes:

...schooners, islands, and maroons

and buccaneers and buried gold...

RAKEHELL-1.jpg

You can do everything right, strictly according to procedure, on the ocean, and it'll still kill you. But if you're a good navigator, a least you'll know where you were when you died.......From The Ship Killer by Justin Scott.

"Well, that's just maddeningly unhelpful."....Captain Jack Sparrow

Found in the Ruins — Unique Jewelry

Found in the Ruins — Personal Blog

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
False Ransom Posted on Nov 5 2006, 02:02 PM

  QUOTE (Red Dog @ Nov 4 2006, 09:08 PM)

Damn, theres a few thoughts I'm gonna have to drink away   

......wonder how I'd look in thong? 

pictures may follow.......... don't count on it though........... 

Would your thong have a little...er...big...skull and crossbones on it?  Did I just type that! 

I refuse to answer that on the grounds that size doesn't matter, (I hope)!

That and it would embarrass me ............ :ph34r:

not Related, is an eye patch considered big? :ph34r:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bigger than a postage stamp.... :ph34r::ph34r:

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help....

Her reputation was her livelihood.

I'm a pirate, love. By nature and by choice!

My inner voice sometimes has an accent!

My wont? A delicious rip in time...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guess that would depend on where ya wore the eyepatch :rolleyes:

...schooners, islands, and maroons

and buccaneers and buried gold...

RAKEHELL-1.jpg

You can do everything right, strictly according to procedure, on the ocean, and it'll still kill you. But if you're a good navigator, a least you'll know where you were when you died.......From The Ship Killer by Justin Scott.

"Well, that's just maddeningly unhelpful."....Captain Jack Sparrow

Found in the Ruins — Unique Jewelry

Found in the Ruins — Personal Blog

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3. Pirates stumble around because they wear two eyepatches

Guilty as charged, matey.

1. Hero is incapacitated after getting his swash caught in his buckle

...Guilty again. Guess it be th'yard arm fer me, eh?

Arr, I do believe that ye can be seein' th'shadow o' a 'elicopter on th'water at th'beginnin' o' th'first episode o' Shogun. Still one o' th'greatest eight hours o' television made, ne'erth'less. Not that I can be seein' it. It sounds really good, though.

Arr, be ye brigands talkin' 'bout men in lacy drawers? I be tryin' that once (okay, more than once), an' let me be tellin' ye: th'pegs legs kinda ruin th'whole thynge.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

For a brief moment you see the edge of the bathtub beyond the horizon :blink:

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help....

Her reputation was her livelihood.

I'm a pirate, love. By nature and by choice!

My inner voice sometimes has an accent!

My wont? A delicious rip in time...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All the rum they drink looks like weak tea.

...schooners, islands, and maroons

and buccaneers and buried gold...

RAKEHELL-1.jpg

You can do everything right, strictly according to procedure, on the ocean, and it'll still kill you. But if you're a good navigator, a least you'll know where you were when you died.......From The Ship Killer by Justin Scott.

"Well, that's just maddeningly unhelpful."....Captain Jack Sparrow

Found in the Ruins — Unique Jewelry

Found in the Ruins — Personal Blog

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 8 months later...
  • 3 weeks later...

1) The scummy crew are tweezed, manicured metrosexuals

2) The grog barrel has an expiration date.

3) The edges of the bathtub are visible behind the ship

4) The rubber swords flex visibly

5) The rubber pirates flex visibly

6) The canon don't move when fired

7) Paris Hilton appears as a wench and breaks a nail

8) No one flinches, get sick or bleeds...well except for Paris Hilton

9) There is gratuitous product placement

10) Subtitles in cheesy pirate speak

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help....

Her reputation was her livelihood.

I'm a pirate, love. By nature and by choice!

My inner voice sometimes has an accent!

My wont? A delicious rip in time...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...