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10 signs you're watching a bad pirate movie


jim hawkins

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In a word....pleather

<_<:o:o:o **Ransom falls down in a dead faint — being highly allergic to pleather**

...schooners, islands, and maroons

and buccaneers and buried gold...

RAKEHELL-1.jpg

You can do everything right, strictly according to procedure, on the ocean, and it'll still kill you. But if you're a good navigator, a least you'll know where you were when you died.......From The Ship Killer by Justin Scott.

"Well, that's just maddeningly unhelpful."....Captain Jack Sparrow

Found in the Ruins — Unique Jewelry

Found in the Ruins — Personal Blog

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:huh: Agh! Quick ..Ransom! ...smell this cow!!!!

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help....

Her reputation was her livelihood.

I'm a pirate, love. By nature and by choice!

My inner voice sometimes has an accent!

My wont? A delicious rip in time...

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  • 3 weeks later...

The ship is covered with NASCAR stickers

Everyone gets proofed for Rhum

The anchor is a cheap foam prop and floats uselessly when tossed overboard

The sea is sudsy...bathtub sudsy

The pirates names all rhyme

The sails are all billowed one way and the ship moves the other

They make a fuel stop

Velcro :rolleyes:

Gopher from the loveboat is aboard wearing an eyepatch

Everyone is wearing an eyepatch

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help....

Her reputation was her livelihood.

I'm a pirate, love. By nature and by choice!

My inner voice sometimes has an accent!

My wont? A delicious rip in time...

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..."I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance, I want to be a pirate from the pirates of Penzance"...

-Aedon

Me mum named me Aedon.

Me mates call me Lucky.

Me enemies call me a bastard.

And anyone in a position of authority calls me

"that lucky bastard Aedon."

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Captain

"Alright then.... we'll ALL sing and dance..."

Grumbling from the Crew....

Captain

"I SAID WE'LL ALL SING AND DANCE, or you'll walk th' plank...."

All (slightly off key)

" I want to sing and dance

I want to sing and dance

I want to be a Pirate from the Pirates of Penzance

Wear me silver buckled slippers and my tight shinny pants.....

I want to sing and dance................."

Awh... the singing is great.... but think of the chorography..... :o

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:o Why does the "I've Got Cabin Fever" song from Muppet Treasure Island come to mind just now?

You know it's a bad Pirate movie when the boat doesn't move, instead the cameraman bobs and rolls the camera up and down. :o

...schooners, islands, and maroons

and buccaneers and buried gold...

RAKEHELL-1.jpg

You can do everything right, strictly according to procedure, on the ocean, and it'll still kill you. But if you're a good navigator, a least you'll know where you were when you died.......From The Ship Killer by Justin Scott.

"Well, that's just maddeningly unhelpful."....Captain Jack Sparrow

Found in the Ruins — Unique Jewelry

Found in the Ruins — Personal Blog

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The cannons don't recoil.

When the ship lurches, half the people are thrown one way, the other half are thrown mysteriously in the other direction.

Bob Hope keeps saying his lines directly into the camera.

Instead of wearing earrings, the pirates are wearing nipple rings.

04de8cfe.jpg

"He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do...

"He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!"

FH1040.jpg

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