Jump to content

Random Topics


Patrick Hand

Recommended Posts

...Why do they call them floppy disk, when you can't flop them.....?

...I tired to send my friend in jail a file baked into a cake..... but the disk melted......

...What do people in China call thier good plates ?

...Why do they sterilize the needle befor a leathal injection ?

...Of course it was in the last place you looked..... once you found it, you stopped looking........

...My computer may win at chess.... but I can sure beat it at kickboxing......!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 1.3k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Thanks Fancy.... I heard the on about a bullet that shot through a man's ...um...privates....and then into a woman's abdomen lodging in her uterus and causing her to become pregnant....can you imagine? Any way I think the origin ye found is much better...at least it has a ring o' truth to it! Thanks fer the link..... :rolleyes:

..Of course it was in the last place you looked..... once you found it, you stopped looking........

so if i look in the last possible place first, and kept looking anyway, would it still be the last......or is that a blonde thing?

"Congratulations Madame, that's another town you've destroyed." William Shaw

I'm the "honest one" Jack Sparrow warned you about, honestly....Red Handed!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK PYRATE IF...........

Instead of a skull and crossed bones on th front of your hat.... you have "Chew Redman Tobacco"

You order yer crew to fire the number six gun.... and it takes them awhile to count that high...

You have an eight point buck with a cigarette danglin outta it mouth and a party hat for yer ship's figurehead.....

Your scurvy crew and your inlaws all have the same number of teeth...

You get worried when the ships stores are gettin low on salt possum.....

Befor your crew can run out the guns, you gotta move that transmission you've been meanin to work on....

Jim Beam and Captain Morgan are the only pyrate Captains you can name...

Your Mamma makes the best bar-b-que salt pork....

You can spit tobacco juice and flick boggers with deadly aim...

The reason you went to sea in th first place was to get more time fer fishin...

Fishin, fightin and fornicatin just come naturaly to you.......

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Rogue.... I had something like that happen with a Doors song.....  ;)

But look on the bright side....... yachts.... sailing... pyracy pub....... you could have gone a totaly diffirent aproach........  ;)

Someone mentioned Doors Song? Hmmmmm, me thinks it's time for some lyrics ... (yes - bnow I'm happy!_ ;)

Grandma love a sailor

who sailed the frozen sea.

Grandpa was a whaler

And he took me on his knee.

He said, "Son, I'm going crazy

From livin' on the land.

Got to find my shipmates

And walk on foreign sands."

This old man was graceful

With silver in his smile.

He smoked a briar pipe and

He walked four country miles.

Singing songs of shady sisters

And old time liberty.

Songs of love and songs of death

And songs to set men free.

Yea!

I've got three ships and sixteen men,

A course for ports unread.

I'll stand at mast, let north winds blow

Till half of us are dead.

Land ho!

Well, if I get my hands on a dollar bill,

Gonna buy a bottle and drink my fill.

If I get my hands on a number five,

Gonna skin that litlle girl alive.

If I get my hand on a number two,

Come back home and marry you, marry you, marry you.

Alright!

Land ho!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
*Sigh* That Jim Morrison sure was a purty man...

Indeed, and Val Kilmer, who played Jim in the movie, and looked so so so much like him, shore is purty too. *another sigh*

Patrick Hand, congrats on the DSL! I'm jealous, as I'm sitting here with my 56K modem, which never logs on at 56K... right now it's.... let me check... 49.2... totally sux.

btw, what kind of bedtime stories do ye like? :ph34r:

Fancy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't have a computer in my apartment so I have to check the pub at work (DSL yee ha!!!) or at my best friend's apartment across the hall (dial up, but better than nothing!)

I'll start a bedtime story:

Once upon a time there was a scurvy buncha pirates who needed a peg leg for their captain.......

Link to comment
Share on other sites

btw, what kind of bedtime stories do ye like?

Well lets see........

"The Whicked Wench who couldn't say no "

"Treasure Chests - topless beaches in the Caribbean"

"Bucaneer Quartly" (The tight bodice issue)

"Tales to Touch your Heart " by L'Olonnois

;)

I'll have to make up some more....... ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pirates are like Samurai........don't ya think?

HuH ????????

Other than they both use voilence...... what other things do they have in common.... (OK carbon based lifeforms......)

Samurai and cowboys have more in common...... I've seen spagetti westerns where thier lips didn't match thier words, just the same as in Japaneese Samurai movies....... :huh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Now this brings up the enternal struggle that I've seen SEVERAL places online. Pirate vs Ninja. It's no doubt what anyone here would choose :huh:

The results from such ponderings are highly amusing! :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...