Event Review

[Rats]

OK so I figure everyone has their own stories and lies... here's just the start of my trip even before I got the Keywest.... More will follow and I'm sure will be added to by the usual suspects!!

On Wednesday Dec 2nd at approximately 5am, Rats (that be me!), along with my esteemed colleagues “12Pound Brian” and the infamous Matty Bottles; left the sky port of Milwaukee. An hour or two later, we landed in the warmer climate of Altan-teea, where I lost my boarding papers and Matty dropped his drivers license. About a half hour later we managed to find Mr. Bottles’ ID and I begged another paper for transport, just as the boat was being loaded. However we did have to walk back to the other side of the airport, which was practically back in Milwaukee anyway. A couple hours later, we landed in Miami and was treated to an hour wait at the Hertz rental coach.

BTW: they have signs all over that claim 10 minute service and crap….What kind of 10 minute “servicing” they were offering was not clear. But we got our car and promptly got lost with the help of our GPS who needed to be reminded we were in Miami and not Wisconsin. I was personally upset everyone was not wearing white blazers like Don Johnson in Miami Vice…. But since we were doing piracy? OK I'll let sleeping dogs lie!

SO! We hit the road and a few hours later arrived at the ISLAMORADA FISH CO. Though this place is set up like a fishing lodge. I believe it was technically the restaurant next door is where we dined. You see they had a thatched hut dining area out on the pier, with huge fish hanging from the rafters. This place had great food, such as fried and breaded gator, salt crab and I had to grope-her. I mean grouper! Now let me say that the meal and the location were perfect!! Exactly what an island meal experience should be!!

Did I mention the sharks???

No I didn’t thinks so… So I’ll continue... as we’re sitting next to the rail and finishing our meal, Matty Bottles notices a fish jump in the water in the small kind of pool/ bay between the shore and us. Now, just for your imagination purposes, this small pool, which let out into the ocean was no more than 30 to 40 feet squared and about 10 to 12 feet deep. The water was also no more than a 3 to 4 foot drop from the deck.

Wait a minute… Did I mention the sharks??

Ok so we start seeing these huge gorram fish cruising in this little bay area. Some range from 3 to 4 feet long and for the life of me I cannot remember what they were called… So this fella from the fish store/ charter service next door arrived with this big bag of leftovers and starts feeding the fish. Suddenly a swarm of seagulls start dive bombing the water and trying to steal what they can… This is when I notice the large gray fish with the gill openings on the side….OH crap that’s a shark!!

Now for those who have never seen a shark, imagine this… a large thick fish that’s the diameter of a full-grown bulldog or pit bull. My original description was “That thing is like a big angry dog with fins!!” I kid you not!! They just cruised through the area and flipped their eyes when they made hit for the food.

I had just joked about running and jumping off the pier and into the water… Which is exactly where they were probably waiting and chatting amongst their selves before dinner… Then we start seeing another… and another!!! So before we know it, there was approximately 20-30 of the large unknown fish, one grouper and about 8 sharks that ranged from 3 to maybe 5 feet!!! Now I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t want to get bit by a small dog or an angry ex-girlfriend, let alone something that wants nothing better than to eat you!! But regardless, as the guys threw in the snack, these things weaved and cruised directly under us, which was no more than a couple feet bellow us, the fish continued to weave and overlap, kinda like the ending of that movie open water. Occasionally they would get close enough to the wooden pillars that are holding up the pier and as they would make a hit on the food, they would make a loud thud and kind of shake the pier. The feeding lasted about 20-30 minutes and then suddenly like clockwork, they all disappeared.

More to come!

[Diosa De Cancion]

Wow! I didn't even know they did that there...and I'm a dang Floridian! I'll have to check that out the next time I head to the keys!!!

[Matty Bottles]

Wow! I didn't even know they did that there...and I'm a dang Floridian! I'll have to check that out the next time I head to the keys!!!

The unknown fish were tarpon, hideously ugly and fearsome in their own right (seriously, these suckers looked HUGE, and I figured they were actually fairly mild specimens of the real prizes out in the gulf.)

I think they feed around sundown - Rats, I am still waiting for the lies. So far everything has been the gospel truth.

Oh, yeah, the Islamorada Fish Co. was at mile marker 81, if anyone is interested.

Edited December 8, 2009 by Bloody Jack Madd

[Rats]

So as we were watching the feeding frenzy, a scantily clad young miss accidentally fell into the dark waters and was set upon by the horrible sharks.... Without thinking of himself, Ol' Rats began slapping the water to get the sharks attention then heroically threw Matty Bottles who cannot swim into the chum soaked waters! Then with the agility of a man gone insane lept into the the water and rescued the now neck-ed young barmaid.

Anything else you might want add??

And by all means Matty, pick up where you want an add what you will. Also if folkls want to add their own, please feel free.

Cheers

Wow! I didn't even know they did that there...and I'm a dang Floridian! I'll have to check that out the next time I head to the keys!!!

The unknown fish were tarpon, hideously ugly and fearsome in their own right (seriously, these suckers looked HUGE, and I figured they were actually fairly mild specimens of the real prizes out in the gulf.)

I think they feed around sundown - Rats, I am still waiting for the lies. So far everything has been the gospel truth.

Oh, yeah, the Islamorada Fish Co. was at mile marker 81, if anyone is interested.

[Matty Bottles]

So as we were watching the feeding frenzy, a scantily clad young miss accidentally fell into the dark waters and was set upon by the horrible sharks.... Without thinking of himself, Ol' Rats began slapping the water to get the sharks attention then heroically threw Matty Bottles who cannot swim into the chum soaked waters! Then with the agility of a man gone insane lept into the the water and rescued the now neck-ed young barmaid.

Anything else you might want add??

And by all means Matty, pick up where you want an add what you will. Also if folkls want to add their own, please feel free.

Cheers

Still waiting on lies, Ratty! All of that was true. Though I cannot swim, I dealt with the sharks like I deal with every challenge: I punched them in the face.

I punched the sharks in the face. I punched the tarpon in the face. I even punched the grouper in the face, because though it seemed harmless enough, it was making faces at me. Then I grabbed a seagull in each hand and flapped my arms and flew to safety, all while Brian, AKA 12-Pound Richard, ate all my fries and drank my soda. Unfortunately, I was too tired to punch him in the face, but I did kick a conch so hard it turned into fritters.

[Rats]

You know I saved her and even gave her the breath of life.... But that neck-ed barmaid who said she would be sure to "thank" me later.... she still charged me for the meal and the friggin meal!!

She even expected a tip!!!

Pout.... pout.........Stupid barmaid.......!

So as we were watching the feeding frenzy, a scantily clad young miss accidentally fell into the dark waters and was set upon by the horrible sharks.... Without thinking of himself, Ol' Rats began slapping the water to get the sharks attention then heroically threw Matty Bottles who cannot swim into the chum soaked waters! Then with the agility of a man gone insane lept into the the water and rescued the now neck-ed young barmaid.

Anything else you might want add??

And by all means Matty, pick up where you want an add what you will. Also if folkls want to add their own, please feel free.

Cheers

Still waiting on lies, Ratty! All of that was true. Though I cannot swim, I dealt with the sharks like I deal with every challenge: I punched them in the face.

I punched the sharks in the face. I punched the tarpon in the face. I even punched the grouper in the face, because though it seemed harmless enough, it was making faces at me. Then I grabbed a seagull in each hand and flapped my arms and flew to safety, all while Brian, AKA 12-Pound Richard, ate all my fries and drank my soda. Unfortunately, I was too tired to punch him in the face, but I did kick a conch so hard it turned into fritters.

[Rats]

I do remember the violent beating that occurred... Think it looked something like this?

Ooops... sorry... or is it more like this??

So as we were watching the feeding frenzy, a scantily clad young miss accidentally fell into the dark waters and was set upon by the horrible sharks.... Without thinking of himself, Ol' Rats began slapping the water to get the sharks attention then heroically threw Matty Bottles who cannot swim into the chum soaked waters! Then with the agility of a man gone insane lept into the the water and rescued the now neck-ed young barmaid.

Anything else you might want add??

And by all means Matty, pick up where you want an add what you will. Also if folkls want to add their own, please feel free.

Cheers

Still waiting on lies, Ratty! All of that was true. Though I cannot swim, I dealt with the sharks like I deal with every challenge: I punched them in the face.

I punched the sharks in the face. I punched the tarpon in the face. I even punched the grouper in the face, because though it seemed harmless enough, it was making faces at me. Then I grabbed a seagull in each hand and flapped my arms and flew to safety, all while Brian, AKA 12-Pound Richard, ate all my fries and drank my soda. Unfortunately, I was too tired to punch him in the face, but I did kick a conch so hard it turned into fritters.

[Matty Bottles]

That's exactly how it was! Including the cool cat they had playing the piano!

[Rats]

So we arrive at the camp and start setting up... Oh did I mention that I recieve a phone call stating that I'm supposed in court to testify on Friday (The next day!)back in Wisconsin!!!!! I then proceed to start playing phone tag with work on and off for the next day and a half!!!!

We also find out that brother Mad Dog, who left his truck at his sister-n-law's house also recieved a phone call... Only his call was from his darling wife... asking if there was anything valuable in his truck.

Did you catch that?

WAS there anything valuable in your truck?

Aye mates!! Ol Mad Dog had his truck stolen right outta his sister-n-law's driveway!!! So he gets to play phone tag a bit and deal with that headache. All this on the heel of what was apparently a pretty cool video shoot.

Sounds like stupid MadDog and Keith got to be in the filming for an episode of Dinner Impossible!!

Stupid Keith.... Stupid Mad Dog!

Sounds like this went excellent and I'll let Mad Dog chime in and tell his lies!!!(this is actually the que for Mad Dog and keith to chime in and tell what happened on their end!!! Hint hint hint!!) It actually sounds like all the behind the scenes and the out take stuff were more fun than anything. especially with the producer actually thinking hat Keith was actually getting drunk the whole time and worried that he would passout!!!

So needless to say the arrr-ival and greetings from our family of friends was enough to make even the toughest of riff-raff tear up and wanna..... (how does Mad Dog say it?) Oh yeah....cuddle!

The next morning...Thursday?

we woke up to find we were on the sothern most tip of Key West! All I can say is that you will never be able to appreciate it until you see it and feel the wind hear the surf for yourself!

I wake up and smell burning wood and frying bacon!!

Already our darling Lilly, Keith and the early birds from the crew are making the camp buzz.

Now this is where I have to give complete and humble thanks to our darling Lilly for everything she did to not only take care of our crew's camp, but also to help ensure that clean up and the necessary jobs were done with the rest of the camp. I have to be honest and say that this venture would not have been the succes it was, had not this increadible woman been willing to pull her hair out and eventually knock herself out with her ledger board.

So to be honest, waking up with this host of friends in a Key West, was kind of like waking up on Christmas morning surrounded by your family... And not the family that you only tollerate or really don't like or even kinda hate because they broke your toys or kicked your dog..... Yeah you know the ones you I'm talking about!

OK how about some help here you guys??!!I'm sure I'm missing some stuff!!

[Bos'n Cross]

....why oohh wwhhyy was i not there for the shark feeding!!!!!...oh and rats you forgot the part that we all become camera whores....lol

[Rats]

Patients my dear Mr. Cross. Patients!

I'm just giving brother mad Dog and Matty Bottles a chance to catch up.

I have to say that after 10 years of a commercial photog, that you were the easiest recruit for camera whore I have ever met!!!

I ofcoarse mean that in the very best possible way!

You my friend are a natural!

....why oohh wwhhyy was i not there for the shark feeding!!!!!...oh and rats you forgot the part that we all become camera whores....lol

[Matty Bottles]

Which day did I play mumblety peg?

Oh, yes, that first night was awesome! Of course, I was the only one who brought anything resembling a blanket and a mattress bad, but that wasn't an issue until the third night when the monsoon struck, and flooded out Rats on the east side of the tarp, and then snuck around and drenched me on the west side of the tarp, and left us both so cold and shivering that we both thought we had woken up reenacting prisoners in the gulags, or perhaps dickensian orphans dying of the consumption. But Brian, aka the infamous 12-Pound Richard Beam, woke up warm and dry and not a care in the world. Rats and I decided to rectify that by snoring loudly, making noises similar to a bull being molested by a creepy crocodile. All that really accomplished, though, was to keep each other awake because of the other's unbearable snoring, while Brian, who is from Northern Illinois, slept soundly, bull-on-crocodile marital violence being a common occurence in Lake County, IL.

[Rats]

Yes... I froze! I was wet and shivering and clicking my heeles wishing to be back in kansas... And I'm not even from friggin Kansas!! Then you guys go and get blankets from Lilly... AND FORGET TO TELL ME!!! I froze my yahoo off!!See! It's not there anymore!! Stupid 12 pounder got to sleep with two heaters around him!!

I feel so used!!

Should we talk about the 1st battle or should I not??

Which day did I play mumblety peg?

Oh, yes, that first night was awesome! Of course, I was the only one who brought anything resembling a blanket and a mattress bad, but that wasn't an issue until the third night when the monsoon struck, and flooded out Rats on the east side of the tarp, and then snuck around and drenched me on the west side of the tarp, and left us both so cold and shivering that we both thought we had woken up reenacting prisoners in the gulags, or perhaps dickensian orphans dying of the consumption. But Brian, aka the infamous 12-Pound Richard Beam, woke up warm and dry and not a care in the world. Rats and I decided to rectify that by snoring loudly, making noises similar to a bull being molested by a creepy crocodile. All that really accomplished, though, was to keep each other awake because of the other's unbearable snoring, while Brian, who is from Northern Illinois, slept soundly, bull-on-crocodile marital violence being a common occurence in Lake County, IL.

[Matty Bottles]

Oh, yeah! I had just blocked it from my memory, is all. You mean the battle where no one really knew what was going on and nobody died and the little children wept because the only casualty of the skirmish were their dreams of adventure and excitement? That one?

[Mary Diamond]

Oh! That was a perfectly Lovely Battle, full of promise, and hope, and... people walking off the battlefield midfight. Sigh ~ the communications aspect needed a little work.

[Matty Bottles]

To be fair, I think everyone would admit that they really got the kinks worked out by Sunday - that was an AWESOME battle.

[Rats]

I just remember how the children cried and yelled, "You shoot like poop! I hate you Mr. Pirates" But nothing was worse than that little girl with the cute little pigtails who yeled "Losers! next time we're going to the frickin' Renfair!"

I know something had to be done... But after that, I was a broken man....

Oh, yeah! I had just blocked it from my memory, is all. You mean the battle where no one really knew what was going on and nobody died and the little children wept because the only casualty of the skirmish were their dreams of adventure and excitement? That one?

[Mary Diamond]

Agreed ~ Mark didn't sleep so well last night, as he told me... something about me sword fighting in my sleep...

[Rats]

wI have to say that the Sunday batt;e was probably the best orchistrated pirate battle that I have ever seen. It was perfectly coriographed and the communication between all elements were both consistent and safe!! we even managed to time it perfectly with the arrival of the Wolf!

from behind the scenes, I have to say that everyone looked great!! The cannon crews were unstoppable!! and though we only had two british with small arms. The hand to hand was perfect and spaced out so that it looked like a well controlled chaos!!

I also loked the bathing beauty/water arobics we did without the water!!!

To be fair, I think everyone would admit that they really got the kinks worked out by Sunday - that was an AWESOME battle.

[Rats]

You rock my dear!!

First you looked elegant while touring the cannon line. Then you did a damn good job with your blade!!

What more needs to be said!!

Agreed ~ Mark didn't sleep so well last night, as he told me... something about me sword fighting in my sleep...

[Matty Bottles]

It was certainly the best battle I've ever been in - but we're skipping a few days, aren't we?

[Mission]

Agreed ~ Mark didn't sleep so well last night, as he told me... something about me sword fighting in my sleep...

Poor Mark... Send her off to the couch!

[Rats]

Yeah.. we'll back track...

So there we were getting ready to do the Saturday battle, when sudden'y we recieve word that there are to be hurricane winds. torrential rain and tornados!!! Everyone I can proudly say pitched in and started pattening down the camp. We even had folks from our crew start running to other camps and start warning them, even before the rangers did. AT around noon there was a black cloud bank to our right, that suddenly stops and turns right toward us. I grab our two snotties and head to the fort. Yes... Rats and children first!! but seriously I'll be damned if I'm going to let anything happen to our kids on my watch!

Right as we get to the fort the storm cuts loose!! The vendors do whgat they can to cover up. But most scamper to the walls and the catacombs.

Before we know it, ol rats brings out the dice and the gambling begins!!

It was certainly the best battle I've ever been in - but we're skipping a few days, aren't we?

[Matty Bottles]

I'll post those pics tonight.

[Silkie McDonough]

No body asked me for a blanket ...I had two extra ...next time ask. There was also room in Mad Dogge's wall tent where I was. Sorry. I thought you three were snug.