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A Pirate's Friendly Insult Thread


Hawk the QM

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the red loin cloth-looking banne

Good thing ye all didn't know me when I was a Pict.... red loin cloth.... yeah.... that an some woad......

Did I ever mention wot I be Pensic Famous..... down inn th' bog... 'bout 15 to 20 years ago........ Women came ter me ter ter their ..eeergh ...breast painted wit woad.... great job if yer can get it.... Hey... Atrig Bluehand.... wonder war I got th' name Patrick Hand.... :unsure:

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I think Quartermaster James is my most favoritist overlooked until now poster around here. (Interesting article you link to there. The guy has sort of co-opted several facts I would argue with, but I admire the intention.)

Mycroft: "My brother has the brain of a scientist or a philosopher, yet he elects to be a detective. What might we deduce about his heart?"

John: "I don't know."

Mycroft: "Neither do I. But initially he wanted to be a pirate."

Mission_banner5.JPG

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the red loin cloth-looking banne

Good thing ye all didn't know me when I was a Pict.... red loin cloth.... yeah.... that an some woad......

Did I ever mention wot I be Pensic Famous..... down inn th' bog... 'bout 15 to 20 years ago........ Women came ter me ter ter their ..eeergh ...breast painted wit woad.... great job if yer can get it.... Hey... Atrig Bluehand.... wonder war I got th' name Patrick Hand.... :lol:

Atrig Bluehand = Patrick Hand? Yeah, that looks pretty dang close.

:lol: Okay, that makes how many personas you've created where you've had to make some kind of garb? Although, does a loincloth and woad classify as garb? Then there's that auction of you dressed in women's bikini bottoms I heard tell of.....sorry I missed that! :P:lol:

Sadly, in all the 13 yrs I was in the SCA, I never made it to Pensic. Kinda wish I had, but, oh well...

...schooners, islands, and maroons

and buccaneers and buried gold...

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You can do everything right, strictly according to procedure, on the ocean, and it'll still kill you. But if you're a good navigator, a least you'll know where you were when you died.......From The Ship Killer by Justin Scott.

"Well, that's just maddeningly unhelpful."....Captain Jack Sparrow

Found in the Ruins — Unique Jewelry

Found in the Ruins — Personal Blog

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I think Quartermaster James is my most favoritist overlooked until now poster around here. (Interesting article you link to there. The guy has sort of co-opted several facts I would argue with, but I admire the intention.)

Flattered and honoured, sir.

As to TAZ, it is from some time ago - 1985 - another world entirely, by some accounts. I agree in that I do not agree with the execution, but the concept is worthy of exploration.

As has been said: Art is what you can get away with.

Edited by Quartermaster James
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Yaaaar ye venomous basilisks, another day o' insultin' possibilities!

Ye be so filthy that yer arse is comparable to the bottom of my ship.

Ye weevil munching maggot lover! If ye ever got yer arse up from the bottom of yer ship t'would be a dark day indeed: blackness would cover the sky and women and children weep for fear of the apocalypse.

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Ye weevil munching maggot lover! If ye ever got yer arse up from the bottom of yer ship t'would be a dark day indeed: blackness would cover the sky and women and children weep for fear of the apocalypse.

If they cry, then at least the apocalypse they fear.

When you walk by, they weep for the future of humanity and pray for sterility.

Edited by Thequartermaster
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When you walk by, they weep for the future of humanity and pray for sterility.

Why, thank ye kindly, but I thought we were supposed to be swapping insults?

Now, back to your lecherous lexicon ye bilge soaked lemur! Leave the walking to the higher primates, macrocephalic baboon!

If yer seen on deck in the light of day the crew will, to a man, abandon ship preferring to risk their fate to Davey Jones!

Edited by Quartermaster James
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Why, thank ye kindly, but I thought we were supposed to be swapping insults?

Now, back to your lecherous lexicon ye bilge soaked lemur! Leave the walking to the higher primates, macrocephalic baboon!

If yer seen on deck in the light of day the crew will, to a man, abandon ship preferring to risk their fate to Davey Jones!

Consider the come back as a sort of parry.

If I were a baboon then I wouldn't have this opposable thumb. Yaaaar but unlike ye, mine doesn't smell funny.

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"I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy cork-soakers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes... like yourselves. " -Roman Moroni

Mycroft: "My brother has the brain of a scientist or a philosopher, yet he elects to be a detective. What might we deduce about his heart?"

John: "I don't know."

Mycroft: "Neither do I. But initially he wanted to be a pirate."

Mission_banner5.JPG

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Ye squid lipped squiffy of a mess deck lawyer, blast ye or by Neptune's spear ye yellow livered spawn of a manatee's bottom ye find yerself scuttled afore ye can make sail !

http://www.myspace.com/oderlesseye
http://www.facebook....esseye?ref=name
Noquarter2copy.jpg
Hangin at Execution dock awaits. May yer Life be a long and joyous adventure in gettin there!
As he was about to face the gallows there, the pirate is said to have tossed a sheaf of papers into the crowd, taunting his audience with these final words:

"My treasure to he who can understand."

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Why ye Scurvy Dog! I'll make ye into shark bait ye chicken headed blowfish!

http://www.myspace.com/oderlesseye
http://www.facebook....esseye?ref=name
Noquarter2copy.jpg
Hangin at Execution dock awaits. May yer Life be a long and joyous adventure in gettin there!
As he was about to face the gallows there, the pirate is said to have tossed a sheaf of papers into the crowd, taunting his audience with these final words:

"My treasure to he who can understand."

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If'n all ye Mammering Flap-Mouthed Canker-Blossoms do naught quit yer Jib Flap'n Magpye Pie Holes so I's can git some sleep I will come up thar 'n have ye all Stand Th' Moses befer th' Admiralty! Now Let A Mutton Monger Git Some Shut Eye Down Below!!

:(

::bloody Peppered Ill-Bred Hedge-Pigs!::

~All skill be in vain if an angel pisses down th' barrel o' yer flintlock!

So keep yer cutlass sharp, 'n keep her close!

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If'n all ye Mammering Flap-Mouthed Canker-Blossoms do naught quit yer Jib Flap'n Magpye Pie Holes so I's can git some sleep I will come up thar 'n have ye all Stand Th' Moses befer th' Admiralty! Now Let A Mutton Monger Git Some Shut Eye Down Below!!

:(

::bloody Peppered Ill-Bred Hedge-Pigs!::

But pyrates and lizards have no sense of repose and indeed pyrates have not even a permanent address. They are mere vagrants like the wind, and should be treated in exactly the same manner. Half-past eight! What an hour! It will be like having a meat-tea, or reading an English novel. It must be nine. No gentleman dines before nine. In these modern days to be vulgar, illiterate, common and vicious, seems to give a man a marvellous infinity of rights that his father never dreamed of.

Edited by Quartermaster James
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Stand and Deliver for it be to your own damnation

Ifen ye continue yar prating insolent babble like that

2nd assistant cabin boy that left us with out warning!

http://www.myspace.com/oderlesseye
http://www.facebook....esseye?ref=name
Noquarter2copy.jpg
Hangin at Execution dock awaits. May yer Life be a long and joyous adventure in gettin there!
As he was about to face the gallows there, the pirate is said to have tossed a sheaf of papers into the crowd, taunting his audience with these final words:

"My treasure to he who can understand."

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Stand and Deliver for it be to your own damnation

Ifen ye continue yar prating insolent babble like that

2nd assistant cabin boy that left us with out warning!

Believe me, Eye, in a good democracy, every man should be an aristocrat: but these people in the admiralty who seek to thrust us out are no better than the animals in preserves, and made to be shot at, most of them. Though, I quite sympathise with the rage of the English democracy against what they call the vices of the upper orders. The masses feel that drunkenness, stupidity and immorality should be their own special property and that if anyone of us makes an ass of himself he is poaching on their preserves.

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Black Syren; I do naught believe it be yer 'funny bone' Quartermaster twas aim'n t' tickle :lol:

...leave it t' a Quater Master t' fire prematurely 'n hit th' target too high :lol:

~All skill be in vain if an angel pisses down th' barrel o' yer flintlock!

So keep yer cutlass sharp, 'n keep her close!

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Believe me, Eye, in a good democracy, every man should be an aristocrat: but these people in the admiralty who seek to thrust us out are no better than the animals in preserves, and made to be shot at, most of them. Though, I quite sympathise with the rage of the English democracy against what they call the vices of the upper orders. The masses feel that drunkenness, stupidity and immorality should be their own special property and that if anyone of us makes an ass of himself he is poaching on their preserves.

Wot a sack of entrails ye spill upon us all. Me heart

be beset by such thoughts of Aristocracy

especially from a scug such as ye self whom must be

drinking Rum with them to know of such things! Avast and

belay yar speechin of black hearted fools. Know this..We are freemen of the seas

and will do as we please with out such moors of character and society!

http://www.myspace.com/oderlesseye
http://www.facebook....esseye?ref=name
Noquarter2copy.jpg
Hangin at Execution dock awaits. May yer Life be a long and joyous adventure in gettin there!
As he was about to face the gallows there, the pirate is said to have tossed a sheaf of papers into the crowd, taunting his audience with these final words:

"My treasure to he who can understand."

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Black Syren; I do naught believe it be yer 'funny bone' Quartermaster twas aim'n t' tickle :lol:

...leave it t' a Quater Master t' fire prematurely 'n hit th' target too high :lol:

Too high? But one must start somewhere, no? If you have not got women on your side you are quite over. You might just as well be a lawyer or a stockbroker, or a journalist at once.

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