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Pirate Jokes & Evil Humour


captweaver65

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Miss Molly's a lady quite blunt

For handsome young pirates she'd hunt,

In quite boisterous shows,

So now everyone knows ,

She caught one and he's licking her c***.

:ph34r:

Capt Weaver

"No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. "

Dr. Samuel Johnson

Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions

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A pirate walked into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender said, "he's beautiful! Where did you get him?"

The parrot replied, "Port Royal."

Capt Weaver

"No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. "

Dr. Samuel Johnson

Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions

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Bulls Balls

One day, an American was touring Spain. After his day's sightseeing, he stopped at a local restaurant. While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?" The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bulls balls from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!" The American, though momentarily daunted when he learned the origin of the dish said, "What the heck, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!" The waiter replied, "I am so sorry, senor. There is only one serving a day since there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to serve you this delicacy!" The next morning, the American returned, placed his order and was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, He called to the waiter and said, "These are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"

The waiter promptly replied, "Si, senor! Sometimes the bull wins!"

Capt Weaver

"No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. "

Dr. Samuel Johnson

Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions

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Loved the jokes! I'm new here, and am trying to navigate my way around. Any recommendations?

ahoy there Jenny G.,

just keep lookin around.

there are more pages to some of the main areas than what is on the front page.

and don't be offended if no one responds to somethin you said,cause many people will read and respond silently,cause some people are shy.

:)

Capt Weaver

"No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. "

Dr. Samuel Johnson

Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions

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no offence to ye wenches out there.

:huh:

I'm a wench meself on occasion.

:ph34r:

Q: What's the difference between a catfish and an pirate wench?

A: One has whiskers and smells bad, and the other is a fish.

Capt Weaver

"No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. "

Dr. Samuel Johnson

Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions

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::Snicker:: I should slap you for that, but I don't think my arm can reach.

:lol:

hehe

I couldn't resist.

Azure,

I would suggest that you not slap me,unless you want 200 lbs of super horny pirate wrestlin your ass to the ground.

as I like a little rough and tumble foreplay,tickling would be much more effective as a deterent.

:lol::lol::P

Capt Weaver

"No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. "

Dr. Samuel Johnson

Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions

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Azure,

I would suggest that you not slap me,unless you want 200 lbs of super horny pirate wrestlin your ass to the ground.

as I like a little rough and tumble foreplay,tickling would be much more effective as a deterent.

:P:P:P

:lol: Ha ha ha! First, how do you know you could wrestle my ass to the ground? I bite, and kick, and scream, and grew up with 6 older brothers, all of whom I could and can wrestle their asses to the floor. I also too waaaay too many years of various martial arts, and managed to beat my entire class ( most of them older than me ) in grappling, which is a lot like wrestling.

Second, how do you know I wouldn't want 200lbs of super horny pirate wrestlin ( wras'lin? ) my ass to the ground? :o

Third, if you /like/ it, then it's not a very good deterent, is it? The only way you get tickles are if I'm mysteriously painted my nails with poison and 'accidently' break the skin. :lol:

Luff ya too. ;)

Hawke

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  :o Ha ha ha! First, how do you know you could wrestle my ass to the ground? I bite, and kick, and scream, and grew up with 6 older brothers, all of whom I could and can wrestle their asses to the floor. I also too waaaay too many years of various martial arts, and managed to beat my entire class ( most of them older than me ) in grappling, which is a lot like wrestling.

  Second, how do you know I wouldn't want 200lbs of super horny pirate wrestlin ( wras'lin? ) my ass to the ground?  ;)

  Third, if you /like/ it, then it's not a very good deterent, is it? The only way you get tickles are if I'm mysteriously painted my nails with poison and 'accidently' break the skin.  :lol:

    Luff ya too.  :P

                                Hawke

well..Azure,

you sound like LOTS of fun!!!

pirateWink.gif

all except the poison fingernails

:lol:

I am sure we would have a grand wrestle ifn ever we were to meet,as I too have had my share of martial arts over the years.

:)

I hate being tickled.

pirateNo.gif

so.....do you like to wrestle in mud?

captWeaver.gif

pirateWub.gif

Capt Weaver

"No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. "

Dr. Samuel Johnson

Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions

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