TalesOfTheSevenSeas

The Privy Wall

239 posts in this topic

This be true, Black Jack.....but a pyrate gal be liken a gift er two (er threes, er fours) from a gentyman ev'ry now an' agin.

Besides, te corset an' spikey boots war fer te be amatchin' te set Santy wears udder that red coat o' his! :D

Har's hopin' ye has a great Christmas. :D

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> Nick the Dragon Slayer had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts, but he knew the penalty for this would be death.

>

> One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme.

>

> The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.

>

> Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch. The King quickly summoned Nick the

> Dragon Slayer.

>

> Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero.

>

> Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, shooed him away with no payment made.

>

> The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's loincloth. The King immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer.....

>

> MORAL OF THE STORY: Pay your bills

>

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Pulls dirk, (yep, the spellin' s correct! :ph34r: )..tries to carve on the storm swells..

"PIRATES ROCK AND RULE!!!".....

returns dirk to top 'o the 'beaver blend', an' steps back aboard on the roll.....

:ph34r:

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Black Jack....a prairie schooner jes 'tain't te same as the rock'n 'n roll'n of a ship on the sea!!

I'll prolly be acatch'n te ferst fly'n house outta this wasteland soon. :)

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Ahhhhh...felt the need to bring this thread back into the daylight, and out of the locker.............*gets out her dagger and carves into the ceiling, one of the last spaces available......damn...how did Michelanglo do it?***

Captain Hook

Captian Hook must remember

Not to scratch his toes.

Captian Hook must watch out

And never pick his nose.

Captian Hook must be gentle

When he shakes your hand.

Captain Hook must be careful

Openin' sardine cans

And playing tag and pouring tea

And turnin' pages of his book.

Lots of folks I'm glad I ain't--

But mostly Captain Hook.

~Shel Silverstein, Where the Sidewalk Ends

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*Looks both ways, then steps in when no one is looking*

*Reaches down and slowly pulls out his......dagger*

(Thinks)

*"Hmmm, don't feel too poetic today"*

*Starts carving waffle patterns in the seat so everyone gets "waffle ass"*

*Snickers and sneaks back out* :lol:

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*Starts carving waffle patterns in the seat so everyone gets "waffle ass"*

*Snickers and sneaks back out* :lol:

*finds out that Black Skot likes waffle arse, decides her arse wouldn't be to pretty with waffle wit syrup on it..

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*pulls out knife, and whittles lines (both vertical and horizontal) in different sizes and widths, so no one will suffer "waffle ass", but "plaid arse" instead...*

:lol:

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*pulls out knife, and whittles lines (both vertical and horizontal) in different sizes and widths, so no one will suffer "waffle ass", but "plaid arse" instead...*

:rolleyes:

So Morgan, are ya saying you are a Scottish arse? :lol:

A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it looking for money and guns but only finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction, no matter how much he ravages you. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you"

To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we keep any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you, too."

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*scribble scribble*

"Intwined in this situation

Only too wander unclothed

While somewhere I plead

For my dire need

is to return too my pants."

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*Scribbles in coal*

There once was a lass named Janette,

Who with Cowan lad made a bet.

If the crewmen played drums,

She would try Cowan's rum.

The poor maid hasn't recovered yet.

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