Matty Bottles

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About Matty Bottles

  • Rank
    Notorious Pyrate
  • Birthday 12/20/1978

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Milwaukee, WI
  • Interests
    Writing, Art, Spending exorbinant amounts of money on action figures, rum, murder.
  1. We have had some incredible breakthroughs with our pirate development. My son loves to play pirate, and is particularly fond of stabbing me as I lie on the ground. Once we finish potty training we will work on a kit for him, which in this case is basically a unisex smock, since he is only three years old...

  2. Hey, it's my birthday! Thanks for all the birthday wishes, everyone!
  3. Swing low, sweet....hammock?

    Now that's interesting. I would have expected linen or hemp hammocks, but not cotton wool. I have a few old blankets that would probably make great hammocks.
  4. Pirate Clerihews

    Jose Gaspar Was a crooked old tar Never caught by the fuzz because he never was
  5. Smell Like a Pirate

    The idea of the sachet was that if the idea did not survive the first five minutes (meaning I couldn't stand the smell), the satchet could be pitched in the fire without the clothes themselves having to be burned...
  6. Your "authentic" Pirate Kit - Pictures

    Mr. Cross is a delight, and his kit is killer, too. That waist coat of mine always pops open and obscenely reveals my shirt to the world. I won't use that configuration of buttons again.
  7. Smell Like a Pirate

    Thank you for the grease ideas. I have considered a small sachet of food materials to hang around my neck - rancid salt pork and salt beef and fish - but I have resisted storing the more putrid ingredients, or those that have the potential to be putrid over time, with the clothes. I actually washed them a few months ago, because I decided to see if I could replicate the odors I want with clean clothes. So far it seems to be a success. I tried stagnant water once before - I actually went for swim in my shirt and slop house, lightly salted my clothes, and then wrapped them up tightly in a plastic bag. After a week I opened the bag, and my senses so grossly assaulted I left them in the garden to be rained clean. It turns out that the body of water I went swimming in was once the outlet for a gelatin factory, and there was an unusually high level of animal nutrients in the water and a corresponding spike in microorganisms. And could that sentence sound any snottier? Wet wood is a real idea, though. The wood chips themselves have very little smell of their own. I could just wet them and use them to line the base of the scent chamber.
  8. Frenchman's Creek (film)

    Thanks for the recommendation - I'll check it out. BBC costumes are usually pretty good. I guess they care about history over there.
  9. Your "authentic" Pirate Kit - Pictures

    I'd like to echo a lot of these same sentiments - Greg, you got a lot of us started on the path to documentable accuracy. It's so good to hear from you again.
  10. where did they keep their money?

    I believe the Gunnister man had a knit drawstring purse. Just a bag, really. A small knitted bag.
  11. Halloween 2012

    So I went as Bane. This is me and Logan, just chilling: What did you guys dress as?
  12. halloween

    From the album Ha

  13. How to go about making Shoes? Any Ideas?

    I have found a bunch of Mary Rose-style shoes, generally around $75, and you know what? I think they would work. The wreck of the Belle had at lease one open-sided shoe without the large tongues we associate with the period. If you were doing an early GAoP sailor's impression, I think they would be just fine.
  14. HMS Bounty crew abandons ship

    Those are sons and daughters and brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers out there, and some guy behind a desk in the midwest who thinks he knows it all thinks it's an insurance scam? Or doesn't think we should maintain a coast guard because $20 of his tax bill supports it? I swear, our civilization is growing more and more uncivilized.