Seamus the Piper

I'd be glad t' send me ship's carpenter t' give a hand - if only I had one (ship, that is). Thanks fer yer efforts in revivifyin' the Pub, Stynky.

Methinks me crew and I might hafta choose one or two fewer events. Unfortunately, not much lies within nearly 70 leagues o' our home port. Or mayhap I'll scale back on me consumption of the rum and ale and stout and... avast! what manner of madness is that?! Realistically: we're definitely doing Portland Pirate Festival (already have reservations and vacations scheduled) but probably nothing else this year. We're already paying $4.57 per gal. for regular, so the belt's cinched tightly now... Or maybe we'll leave the wee yonkers wi' the nanna.... ..naw. How'd we raise 'em t' be full-fledged, self-respectin' pirates wi'out events, arrrr?

Blast! Missed it! (oh, wait - di'n't know, really...) 'ad the pleasure t' make Cap'n Slappy's acquaintance September last - at the Portland Pirate Festival. Lovely fellow, fine singin' voice... To Cap'n Slappy! Fair winds and following seas!

Arrr...here be a merry tune in honor o' yer natal celebrations...an' a tot o' the Demon Rum to wash it down!

A short, stout old salt strides into the pub. On his belt, opposite his cutlass, he wears not a flintlock but a battered (but well-polished) tinwhitle. He strokes his beard and casts a gleaming eye about the room. "Ahoy, me hearties. Seamus the piper at yer service, and it's a very good day I be wishin' ye. "Professional musician by trade, Gentleman o' Fortune by choice, I be. Organist, whistler, piper and more, arrr. "These days, me service be giv'n in th'Hallow'd Halls o' Higher Ed, far from the briny deep, in the mountain and forests o' th' Pacific Nor'west - but to the sea me heart belongs. "Glad to be makin' yer acquaintences, says I."