Jacky Tar

"Six times I've turned the crank on this box from hell," I cursed under my breath, "Who knew the blasted thing couldn't be cranked more than once a day!" I turned t' Stones an remarked, "Ye know the definition fer insanity?" Stones nodded, an I muttered, "Doin' the same blasted thing over an over again, an expectin' different results," as I turned the crank a seventh time. The sky fell dark an the sea began t' batter the ship. Above the roar an din, I shouted, "O' aye, this is different!" No floatin' mountains o' ice, this time. No crazy English captain wit' a crew o' armored warriors, wieldin' long swords, in sight. Nay, this time we'd been set down in the mother o' all storms. The crew scrambled t' avoid bein' swept ov'r board, as a giant wave crashed on the deck o' the Relentless. Someone screamed, in the distance, "It means t' return t' the bottom o' the sea!" I lurched towards the box an hoped I could send it back t' the bottom wit' out us.

I hope yer day was filled wit' natal day celebrations. Best wishes (Please, no dancin' on the table tops this year!) Yers, Jacky

Aye, Ransom needs t' learn a few new tricks...

I just finished readin', "On Stranger Tides." (Aye, I can read.) The story had no mermaids, Blackbeard didn't hav a daughter, an o' course no Jack Sparrow. So I'm guessin' the movie will stray a bit from the original story.

I hope yer celebratin' in grand pirate style, Rumba Rue! Fall is around the corner an I look forward t' seeing ye at one o' those south coast pirate gatherin's. Jacky Tar

Just when ye thought it was safe t' go back in the water, a birthday shark's fin breaks the surface o' the water. On any other day he'd be sushi fer a pirate like Herself. But alas she's had one too many Mai Tai's, an this shark is ready t' strike our unsuspectin' pirate lass (below the water line). Now, while our Iron Bess is more than an even match fer any man, or beast, on dry land. No pirate can escape the birthday shark completely unscathed. Just remember luv, even though birthdays bite, yer friends will be there t' see ye survive another one. y.h.s. Jacky Tar

First... Thank ye Graydog fer yer post. I went late last week t' stand on line outside Sande Alessi Casting, fer the open casting call. I met several experienced extras: Chris, a werewolf from True Blood. James, an extra on CSI New York... or was it Miami... or both. Cory, a self trained drummer, and a bit tall t' be a British regimental drummer. Since this was my first casting call, I had no war stories t' swap. These fellas were genial, an seemed un-concerned wit' the long wait in line, an regaled me wit' their extra stories (which helped pass the time). After, we finally got into the casting office, and bared our chests in front of a green screen, we parted ways. On the way out I received the standard reply, "Don't call us, we'll call you... if yer selected."

Aye, mates the casting call is in Hawaii, sigh! Sorry lasses they be only lookin' fer men. Here's Sande Alessi's link: http://www.sandealessicasting.com/open-calls.htm Fair winds, Jacky

Sinker (Hook, line and sinker... As in, swallowed it...)

Hand basket (As in, going t' hell in one...)

Iron Bess, thank ye fer yer post. I hope the clouds clear an things settle down a bit. Glad t' hear the mouse is still kickin'. I'll save ye a seat at the "Butt Kickin' Event", in Ojai! Silkie, thank ye fer the belated wishes. Captain Sterling, belated wishes in return. Eyes, nice t' know ye hav my back, mate. Remind me t' return the favor in Ojai! Thank ye, one an all! Jacky Tar

A butt kickin'! I guess some people just can't take a compliment. "Bring it!" says I.

I hope yer day was filled wit' family, good things t' eat, CAt toys, an a little pyracy! Belated Birthday Wishes, luv. Yers always, Jacky

Red CAt, thank ye, but ye can call me Jacky... We call the monkey Commodore! Red-Handed Jill, Aye! Let's share several toasts in Ojai. (Pssst... Don't let Red CAt know we hav toast!) Dear Rumba it's been too long indeed. I'm farin' better than most, an better times are just over the horizon. Lady 'B', I did receive breakfast in bed, but that isn't spoiled (is it?). Ransom? Who the bloody 'ell is Ransom? Do ye mean that whiny, red-headed, t'day I'm a steampunk pirate, and haven't got a clue who Lady Gaga is? Or do ye mean my friend who is creative, a fair writer, lives where it rains a lot, an really needs cable? Ladies, thank ye one an all, fer the well wishes. ~ Jacky Tar

While divin' on the wreck t' recover the remaining gold bars, we came upon a curious find loosely secured t' wot was left o' the deck. I returned t' the barrel t' gasp fer the last bit o' air, 'fore returnin' t' secure a rope t' this latest find. The crew was waitin' anxiously fer me t' surface, an began t' shout at me 'bout the return o' the Flodden. I climbed back aboard the Relentless, an saw that Rackhell had already begun t' weigh anchor. "Release the barrel!" I shouted, "We'll retrieve it later. Hoist away on that other line, I want t' secure wot's on the other end, 'fore we weigh anchor." The catch was brought aboard, an set t' rest on the deck. The object was even more beguilin', once revealed by the light o' day. The curious onlookers gawked, an someone quipped, "It looks like an Antikythera!" I'd heard o' ancient devices, an their use by ancient mariners; but, I'd never seen one, an this one looked like it had been in the water a few days, not several years. I bent over the device, an turned the small crank on the one side, an marveled at the freely turnin' gears. The movin' etched objects an numerals, on other gears, settled in t' their new positions. When I stood up, an glanced over the port side o' the ship, the ships in the distance were gone! So too was the Rakehell. The hairs on the back of neck stood up as I scanned the waters around us, we weren't in the Tortugas anymore.

If we're goin' t' do silly muppet sounds, I prefer, "Bork, bork, bork!" ~ Zee Svedeesh Cheff

I told her not t' hav the cabbage... Broadside Brennan, is it! Yer well met here, lad. Aye, we like a lad wit' a stout heart who's ready fer a bit o' adventure. Welcome aboard!

We climbed out on t' the main deck in a brandy haze, an I remarked, "Seems Ol' Nate has plans o' his own." As wot I believed t' be his main sail was disappearin' ov'r the horizon. I addressed Ransom, one last time, "Give us one more day t' salvage wot we can, then we'll set out fer Florida." She nodded, still gazin' at that horizon, as we departed. I thought I heard her mumble somethin' under her breath, which I was sure was 'bout a certain Irishman. Smithe an I were quick t' climb down t' our launch, an hastily retreat t' the Relentless.

"I'll admit, Nate has more luck than common sense. O' course wit' the Cat an Roberts havin' his back, they 're more than a match fer a few Spaniards." "If MacTavish returns fer a fight, he might attack one ship, an be daft enough t' try two. But three... I think even he understands the odds against winnin' that one." I extended the tea cup fer a refill, an I exclaimed, "We could use a bit o' that crazy Irish luck! An I fer one believe, we should ask Nate an company t' stay on." Smithe hiccuped. "Aye, I'll drink t' that. T' Crazy Irish luck!" he said, as he tossed back another tea cup o' brandy.

"Aye, civilized!" I said, as I lifted the lid o' the dainty tea pot, an emptied me cup back in t' the pot. A frown spread across Ransom's face, an I saw Smithe tremble a bit out o' the corner o' me eye. I reached fer the bottle o' brandy, an said, "We need a few more days t' collect some more gold, 'fore we continue on t' Florida. Once there, I intend t' take a party inland." I poured some brandy in t' the tiny cup an drank it in a single swallow. I tossed off a few more, 'fore Ransom grabbed me drinkin' arm. Lookin' Ransom in the eyes, I said, "Where are me manners? Smithe, would ye like some brandy?"

"Ye don't suppose she'll be askin' us t' sip tea again, sire?" Smithe asked. I replied, "Aye, she probably will offer us some." Smithe's eyes looked sullen, then brightened. "Well then, it's good I remembered me flask." he said, as he patted his coat pocket. I snickered, as I too had no fondness fer the foul brew, "At least one o' us will enjoy the tea." Smithe brought the small boat along side the Rakehell, an I hailed them, that we might be allowed t' come aboard.

Tsk... tsk! Just fer you. Zac Efron -- 'High School Musical', '17 Again' Robert Pattinson - 'Twilight' Taylor Kitsch - 'Friday Night Lights' (non-painted six pack) http://www.menshealth.com/mhguys/images/janfeb07big.jpg Chris Pine - 'Star Trek' (Captain Kirk)