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Captain Booty

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About Captain Booty

  • Birthday 03/20/1967

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    http://www.myspace.com/captain_booty
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  • Location
    Th' high seas, me hearties. All kidding aside, Florida.
  • Interests
    80's rock, hangin' an' bangin', Star Wars, sci-fi and fantasy films and stories, writing fiction, being theatrical, the internet, sweet wench tushies, bouncing boobies, loose wenches, Lord of the Rings, rum, beer, th' list could go on an' on...<br><br>Oh, an' th' usual booty huntin', ravishin' wenches, an' plunderin'. Th' usual sea farin' duries.
  1. I used to be a manager in Eckerd Drug Stores, and I encountered the dumbest and strangest of people. People who would walk toward me and stop right in front of the 6 foot high, 4 foot wide battery display rack and say in an angry tone that the store was laid out in too complicated of a manner because he couldn't find the damn batteries. Another customer, another day, looking for the batteries. I tell him, "right behind you." So he walks right past the rack and then comes back and looks at me, bewildered. So I tell him again, "Behind you>' He turns around but looks to the right. I tell him, "no, right there to your left." So he turns to his left and walks past the battery rack. "No sir, you just passed it. It is behind you again, to your right." He turns around and walks past the rack and looks to his right, away from the rack. I tell him, "Sir, it's right there to your left now!" He then looks to his left down the aisle completely past the batteries. By this time I wonder if I'm on hidden camera and this is all a joke, because how can anyone be that oblivious? Finally I have to come out from behind the counter and physically direct him to the 6 foot high, 4 foot wide rack right beside him. And he shrugs it off and says, "Ah, if it was a snake it would have bitten me." So I tell him, "First aid is on aisle 8, for that snake bite." Woman comes in to return the camera that she bought. She doesn't like it because it doesn't work. So I ask her, "Have you made sure the batteries are new and fresh? She says, "It's supposed to use batteries?" Another woman comes in and is angry that the calculator she bought does not work right. She wants a refund, because no matter how many times she pressed the clear button, or the off button, the same set of numbers remain on the LCD screen and she can't clear them off. I apologize and use my fingernail to peel off the thin plastic sheet of pre-printed numbers that came attached to the LCD screen face, the same sort of plastic numbers that usually come on all calculators, some digital clocks, or most anything with an LCD screen display. She walked out with her calculator quickly, pretty embarrassed. I used to get all all types like that. Someday I should write a book.
  2. The banana virus is pretty bad. Thank God for the current cloned crop or we'd all be eating these.
  3. ...and Vivid Hearty Vardy Regarding the Value of a Venerable Visage of Validation And verily so indeed. I quote: Who was he? He was my father He was my mother He was my brother He was you He was me He was all of us. Oh my fucking God, what a movie. With the exception of Revenge of the Sith, it has been years since I'd walked out of a theater nearly breathless. I need to see it again ASAP. I am, of course, referring to V for Vendetta. Natalie Portman delivered the best performance of her entire career. Hugo Weaving gave one of his greatest performances, even though you never see his face the entire film. At first it's troubling to find you have to accept the concept of terrorism to identify with the main character, until you learn that this future state is closer to Nazi Germany than any modern day goverment. I don't share the views of those who say that this poked at Bush and current day British politics; I didn't see it (though I am not versed on British politics at all I must say) like that. I have heard that it is very close to the graphic novel on which it is based (which I have yet to read). But if you have not read the graphic novel, and you think you know how this film ends by the previews and early viewing intuition, you find yourself quite surprised by not only how the film ends, but by how it has made you feel by the last frame. (and in fact I have learned that the film ends differently from the graphic novel as well.) I quote again: "Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V." and for kicks and giggles: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qc_oJxfQtoc...0for%20vendetta I have been sick all week with some kind of nasty virus or flu or something that I can't shake off, and Saturday was the first day in 5 that I felt well enough to shower and shave (and God did I feel and smell nasty) and venture out of the house to grab and human breakfast and catch this movie finally. To be honest, if I hadn't felt so lousy again today, I would have seen this film again making it 2 days in a row for me. I can't wait to see it again, it was that riveting. If you have yet to see this spectacular film, read no further, for the end of the film I am about to discuss... I'm sure everyone who has seen it has felt some striking similiarities between V and the Phantom of the Opera, but am I the only one who, regardless of who played the co-starring role in the film I am about to mention, noticed a striking similarity between V's final (and 2nd to final) speech to Evey, and Leon's final speech to Mathilda in "Leon" (The Professional)? I don't have the wording solid in my memory, but in both speeches there was something about her giving him hope and a reason to enjoy life, before he died from gunshot wounds. Discuss if you see fit.
  4. Thank ye kindly, ye lovely lass. Indeed, I shall be partying again for the weekend when a good internet friend comes to my neck of the woods and I meet 'er for th' first time. She's a wild one, and I fear even I may not be able to keep up with her. Arrrrr, but I shall work at it. :angry:
  5. Please pass me the salt after you've srinkled your own food
  6. Declare sumthin' that nobody knows, aye? Yesterday was me birthday. On the first day of spring, I was sprung. Many, many moons ago.
  7. Life is not fair. This is not right. Christopher Reeve died in the same week as my mother, and my mother and myself had thought of him and his wife as heroes for their strength and courage. What a double blow for their children and family. As if Dana had not been through enough through the years of struggling to keep her husband alive and helping him to enjoy life despite his condition, to be stricken with cancer right after when she needed to rest and recover from those years. And then this. I feel for her family. Another hero was taken from us.
  8. Arrrr, I be resemblin' th' remark, laddie. Resentin', I be meanin', I reckon. Yarrrrrr.
  9. Fresh from the shower, a woman stood in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts were too small. Instead of characteristically telling her that it's not so, he uncharacteristically came up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then everyday take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, she fetched a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take,” she asked. "They will grow larger over a period of years", her husband replied. She stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts bigger over the years?" Without missing a beat he said, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?" He is still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again. --I'm not married, but even I'd know to keep my mouth shut.
  10. That was cheesy, ye know. But then, we'd all like to milk these jokes for all their worth.
  11. Ye can never be too good, unless you're already too good in which case you're as good as good is which is gooder than good can get. Which is always a good thing, usually. Do you understand that? Good. Arrrrr.
  12. I'm not fully sure why you're mad, but then, I don't know jack either.
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