My small group has hit on a pretty decent way to get around the "accuracy" part of female pirates/privateers, particularly when it's my wife and I.
When we give a historical presentation, we try to put it in the frame of "Hollywood vs. History."
She dresses in a bit more of a "Hollywood" style, while I'm trying for more "History." We can show the differences, and from that discuss the rarity of female pirates. And, my lovely wife simply can't get away with dressing as a man. She has certain... attributes... that are not at all easy to disguise.
As far as our personas go within that framework, we've taken a bit of inspiration from Grace O'Malley, even though the time settings are way off. She is the owner of the ship, and I am the captain. That, of course, means we have to lean more towards privateering than pirating, but we all also know just how easily that particular line was crossed anyway.
At any rate, just my input, for what it's worth...