thomas the tit mouse

chapter 2 - the captains table is there anything a mouse likes more than cheese (nothing comes to mind)? and it was that unmistakable smell, which drew me to the captains quarters this very day. as i squeezed underneath the cabin door, i peered into the captains quarters, and saw no sign of any crew member. the smell was getting stronger and i knew that what i seeked had to be up on the table, before me. sadly, no sign of any cheese scattered on the cabin floor. this captain was not as sloppy as the crew. if i wanted cheese, i had to go aloft to the table top. the table legs would be an easy climb for an agile mouse. but once topside, the table top would not provide any quick means of escape. "courage thomas!", i said, as i began to climb. the table top was cleaner than the floor! the cheese i seeked, was centered in the middle of the table, nestled next to a hard roll and some fruit. i glanced nervously about the room, from my new vantage point. my whiskers were twitching, as was my nose, in the direction of that cheese. just then, a blade crashed into the table top before me and blocked my view of that cheese. i thought i saw my last breath appear on the surface of that blade. it was was so close to my nose, i was sure i'd lost a whisker. but to my surprise i was unharmed, and the blade was suddenly yanked from the table top. i was much relieved, to see that the next thrust of the blade was into that cheese and not into me. then the hand which had wielded that knife with such speed, that it would have dazzled a cat, offered me a piece of cheese!

Good Quartermaster, there is a space between tit and mouse, and no tufts... there was this grass skirt once! Thomas the Tit Mouse, Esq

Someone is begging to be put back into that Victorian corset, then we'll see who squeaks the loudest! Thomas the Tit Mouse, Esq

..... mouse tracks .....

I have no recollection of any such barrel. I hope that puts your feverish mind to rest. Thomas the Tit Mouse, Esq

(Sniffs...) No, definitely no rats! Thomas the Tit Mouse, Esq & acting Bosom Bosun, HMS Sea Witch

Odd... All I smell is mouse! Thomas the Tit Mouse, Esq

chapter 1 - the stow away the life of a mouse is seldom a long, or happy one, unless you happen to be me. i live aboard a pirate ship, but i'm getting ahead of my story. my name is thomas and i was born a humble field mouse. i had the misfortune, or rather the good fortune, of stowing away in a barrel of apples. stowing away in that barrel would change my life forever. the barrel was bound for the sea witch, a fine pirate ship, and my soon to be new home. the barrel, and i, traveled by wagon to the port where the sea witch was docked. I nibbled a large hole in one apple, in that barrel, and i crawled inside that apple to rest. while i was resting, someone decided to roll the barrel along the dock to the ship; rolling the barrel bruised many apples and i didn't escape without a few bruises of my own. the barrel, and i, finely came to rest in the galley of the ship. a galley of a pirate ship is not the safest place for a little mouse. so, at my first opportunity, i left the barrel to seek safer quarters. the ship was mine to freely roam, as i was the only mouse aboard. a pirate ship is a magical place for a mouse, as long as there are no cats. i could come and go as i pleased, if i kept a weathered eye out for trouble, and remained unseen by the crew. i plundered food from the galley by night and explored the rest of the ship by day.

Ransom held for ransom, by the Kern Co. Privateers! I saw their primitive encampment, and I sympathize with the hardship which has befallen them. Had I only known, I would have doubled their asking price, and asked that they kept her. Thomas the Tit Mouse, Esq

I wish to redeem my good name, after the lurid tales circulating about the pub, regarding my fascination with ladies' bodices. While it is true that I have been known to scamper about certain women's foredecks, my visits were never uninvited, and I would never force myself upon a lady. Thomas the Tit Mouse, Esq.