COUSIN ROBBIE

OH JOHNNY, IT WAS BAD. I GOT TWO DEER PELTS TO TAN AND I DON'T KNOW HOW SO I ASKED DUTCH FOR HELP BECAUSE HE KNOWS HOW HE'S SMART LIKE THAT AT LEAST HE SAYS HE IS SO I FIGURED I WOULD DO ONE AND SEE HOW IT TURNED OUT SO I PUT THE OTHER IN THE FREEZER WELL THE ONLY PLACE WAS ON TOP OF A FROZEN ROAST AND WENT UT TO GET THE MATERIALS I NEEDED SO I STRETCHED THE HIDE OUT AND SEPARATED THE TISSUE LIKE I WAS SUPPOSED TO AND IT WAS OK, SMELLED BUT OK AND WASN'T TOO HARD SO I GOT DONE WITH THAT AND THEN CALLED DUTCH TO SEE WHAT NEEDED TO BE DONE NEXT HE SAID TO SALT IT DOWN REALLY WELL SO I DID AND THEN I HUNG IT UP TO DRAIN BUT THEN IT STARTED SNOWING DUTCH SAID IT WAS GOING TO AND IT DID HE'S SMART LIKE THAT HE KNOWS ABOUT THESE THINGS WHY HE JUST KNOWS WHEN ITS GOING TO IT AMAZING HE SAID IT WAS GOING TO BE A DRY SNOW....... SO I FIGURED IF IT WAS A DRY SNOW IT WOULDN'T GET EVERYTHING WET WELL IT DID NEXT THING YA KNOW THERE IS SALT AND WATER AND FROZEN HIDE ALL OVER THE PLACE SO I ASKED DUTCH WHAT OT DO AND HE SAID TO TAKE IT SOMEPLACE DRY WHERE IT COULD DRAIN AND NOT MESS ANYTHING UP SO I DID I TOOK IT TO THE ONLY WARM PLACE WHERE IT COULD DRAIN IN THE HOUSE NOW I DIDN'T MIND THE SMELL AND IT WAS DRAINING BUT I COULDN'T TAKE A BATH SO I WENT AWAY AND SYPHYLUSS CAME AND WENT TO FIND SOMETHING IN THE FREEZER FOR DINNER AND WELL THERE WAS THIS HIDE OVER THE ROAST SHE WANTED TO MAKE WELL AFTER THAT EXCITEMENT SHE WANTED TO TAKE A BATH TO RELAX..............

OHHH ITS HORRIBLE< ITS ALL DUTCHES FAULT HE SAID I SHOULD AND I DID AND HE WAS RIGHT BUT I MISUNDERSTOOOOOOOD HIM AND NOW SHE IS MAD AT MEEEE! HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN! I DID WHAT HE SAID AND HE WAS RIGHT BUT I DIDNT DO IT RIGHT AND NOW ITS A BIG MESS!!!!

COUSIN JOHHNNNYYY OH COUSIN JOHHHNNNY WHAT DO I DO???? SYPHILLYS IS MAD AT ME!!!!!!! WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO????

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from the clothing thread..... "here here! huzzah for silkie!!....oy captain......im surprized youd have such a photo in a visible spot...i would have though hed be hidden him from view......id rather be seen with syphilis than your dear cousin........lol " -Bos'n Cross MR. CROSS!!!! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN WITH SYPHILLIS FOR SEVERAL YEARS NOW AND SHE STANDS BY MY SIDE THROUGH THICK AND THIN. NEVER COMPLAINS BUT ADMITTEDLY SOMETIMES IS A PAIN AND REMINDS ME SHE IS THERE ALMOST DAILY. HOW DARE YOU SAY YOU WOULD RATER BE SEEN WITH HER WHY WHY WHY OH JUST LET ME CATCH YOU WITH SYPHILLIS! THIS...... IS AN INSULT ON HER HONOR. I INSIST ON A DUEL!

OH JOHHHNNNNYYYYYY!!! OH COUSIN JOHNNNYYYY HEY DUTCH SAID THAT IN ORDER FOR ME TO TO GO TO BEAUFORT I NEEDED MIGRATION PAPERS AND SOME SHOTS SINCE I WAS GOING TO BEGIN MIGRATING SOUTH AND BE IN FLORIDA IN TIME FOR PIP I SHOULD JUST AS WELL START NOW SO I THOUGHT I WOULD AND DUTCH BEING SMART AND ALL I FIGURED I SHOULD LISTEN TO WHAT HE HAS TO SAY DESPITE THE WHOLE SWIMMING INCIDENT AND CATCHING CANNONBALLS MISTAKE BUT I THINK I COULD HAVE REALLY CAUGHT A SMALL ONE SO HE SAID I MIGRATE NORTH AND SOUTH LIKE BIRDS SO I SHOULD PROBABLY GET A BIRD FLU SHOT AND THAT MADE SENSE THEN HE SHOWED ME A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT AND I' M NOT SO SURE NOW DO I REALLY NEED THIS? I'D REALLY HATE TO GET SICK AND HAVE THIS HAPPEN TO ME.

HEY DUTCHIE... WHO SHE?? AND YOU WOULDN'T LET ME COME TO DELTAVILLE I HOPE YOUR HAPPY AND THEN YOU SOLD MY STUFF IN HAMPTON THATS OK ILL BE AT BEAUFORT AND THEN ILL GET TO MEET ALL THESE NEW FOLKS THAT YOU'RE EMBARRASED TO INTRODUCE ME TO

THEY ARE ENJOYABLE I LIKE THEM DURRING THE HOLIDAYS THEY MAKE YOU FEEL ALL WARM AND FUZZY AND SIT AROUND THE FIRE KUMBAYA SORT OF TREE HUGGER HAPPY. THE RECOVERY SITES ARE PRETTY NEAT ONE OF THEM HAS AN OBSERVATION DOCK RIGHT ALONG SIDE IT AND IF ITS LOW TIDE AND THEY HAVE THE PUMPS ON YOU CAN SEE THE SHIP UNDER A FILM OF WATER THEY DONT EXPOSE IT BUT JUST DROP THE WATER LEVEL SO ITS EASIER TO WORK AROUND ITS REALLY NEAT THEY EVEN BRING UP A RELIC OR TWO BUT THE TIMES IVE BEEN IT WAS THE SAME ONION BOTTLE I THINK THEY LEAVE IT DOWN THERE AND BRING IT UP TO IMPRESS THE CROWD. SORT OF LIKE FIREWORKS- OOHHH, AHHHH, THEN IT GOES AWAY.

ONE TIME COUSIN JOHNNY AND DUTCH AND ME AND SOME OTHER KIDS WERE PLAYING AND BUILDING A TREE HOUSE IT WAS A GOOD TREE HOUSE BUT WE WERE GOING TO MAKE IT BETTER COUSIN JOHNNY DROPPED A LOG ON ONE OF THE OTHER KIDS FOOT AND HE GOT MAD AND LEFT AND TOOK HIS HAMMER AND SAW WITH HIM WE HAD ONLY BEEN WORKING A LITTLE BIT SO WE HAD NOT GOTTEN TOO FAR INTO THE NEW CONSTRUCTION AND WE WERE LEFT WITH THE OLD TREE HOUSE BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN A REAL NICE ONE THAT WOULD HAVE HELD US ALL SOME OLD FRIENDS CAME ALONG AND HELPED FINISH THE JOB AND IT WAS A GREAT TIME. WELL THE KID WITH THE HURT FOOT WENT OFF AND MADE HIS OWN TREE HOUSE FOR HIMSELF EVENTUALLY HE GOT LONELY AND WANTED TO COME BACK HE EVEN APPOLOGIZED BUT NOONE LISTENED, SEEMS HE HAD STOMPED OFF BEFORE AND NOONE WANTED TO LISTEN TO HIM ANY MORE. YOU SEE, HE FORGOT THAT HE WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH A HAMMER AND SAW NOR WAS HE THE ONLY ONE THAT KNEW HOW TO BUILD A TREE HOUSE.

IF YOU MAKE A COMMITMENT TO BE SOMEWHERE OR DO SOMETHING, DON'T WALK OFF AND EXPECT OTHERS TO PICK UP YOUR PIECES.

A TRISTE ON THE ART OF SEARCHING FOR AND REMOVAL OF CERTAIN HARDENED SALVAGED OBJECTS WITHIN THE NASAL PASSAGES OF YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIONS AND ONES SELF BY COUSIN ROBBIE DEDICATED TO MY FRIENDS PHLEGM AND LUGGIE, AFFECTIONATELY KNOWN AS "THE SNOTTIES" IT MAY INTRIGUE THE READER TO FIRST BE AQUAINTED WITH THE REVELATION THAT ONE NOSTREL ON ONES NOSE IS FOUND TO BE SLIGHTLY LARGER THAN THE OTHER. GENERALLY THE RIGHT IS THE LARGER OF THE PAIR. ONES TIP OF THEIR INDEX FINGER ON THEIR RESPECTIVE HAND ASSOCIATED WITH THE RESPECTIVE FINGER AND NOSTREL MAY ALSO FOUND TO BE SLIGHTLY LARGER OR SMALLER THAN THE OTHER, MUCH THE SAME AS THE NOSTREL. MORE INTERESTINGLY, THE AFORE MENTIONED INDEX FINGER WILL PROPPERLY FIT INTO THE OWNERS RESPECTIVE NOSTREL QUITE COMFORTABLY, HOWEVER IT SELDOM WILL FIT AS COMFORTABLY INTO ANOTHERS NOSTREL. BEARING THIS IN MIND I WOULD LIKE TO KEEP THE READER ABREAST OF MAINTAINING ONES NOSE AND CONTAINED SALVAGED OBJECTS. EVERY ACTION DONE TO THE NOSE IN COMPANY, OUGHT BE DONE WITH SOME SIGN OF RESPECT, TO THOSE THAT ARE PRESENT SHOW NOTHING TO YOUR FRIENDS THAT MIGHT AFRIGHT HIM IF GOOD FORTUNE IS FOUND UPON YOUR SEARCH WHILE IN COMPANY, OFFER TO THOSE FIRST THERE IS ALSO PRESENT, PROTOCOL IN DEALING WITH SALVAGED ITEMS THAT MAY NOT BE APPROPRIATE AS DONE WITH SALVAGE AS TO FRIENDS AND RELATIONS YOU MAY PICK YOUR FRIENDS AND YOU MAY PICK YOUR NOSE, BUT NOT YOUR FRIENDS NOSE YOU MAY PICK YOUR FRIENDS AND YOU MAY PICK YOUR NOSE, BUT WIPE NOT YOUR FRIENDS UPON THE COUCH YOU MAY PICK YOUR FRIENDS AND YOU MAY PICK YOUR NOSE, BUT FLICK NOT YOUR FRIENDS ACROSS THE ROOM YOU MAY PICK YOUR FRIENDS AND YOU MAY PICK YOUR NOSE, BUT EAT NOT YOUR FRIENDS MOST RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED, YMHS- COUSIN ROBBIE

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THE SKY DIDN"T FALL THE SKY DIDNT FALL!!!!!!!!